Not all relationships are meant to stay in your life. Sometimes hitting that ‘block’ button, no matter how petty it may seem, might actually be the best thing for you. Saying goodbye to someone you love can be soul-crushing, but if you have taken that decision for the better, we are proud of you for doing the right thing for yourself.
Forget everything that every movie on Romedy Now tells you about never letting go of the one you love. No matter how challenging, it takes maturity to walk away from things that do not sustain you anymore. And working toward a better you sometimes means that you have to say goodbye to those who are not worth fighting for.
Because, as Paulo Coelho said, “If you’re brave enough to say goodbye, life will reward you with a new hello.” And it may seem bleak right now, but a brighter future is waiting for you. So put on that brave face and your self-care caps because today we are about to go through all the chapters of how to say goodbye to someone you love.
Saying Goodbye To Someone You Love – 10 Ways
When one of our readers from Oregon, Naomi, finally realized that her high school romance with Trey was turning into a toxic relationship in college, she knew it was time to call it quits. Having dated all four years of high school, she felt it was impossible to break up with him. Until one day she had had enough and went over to Trey’s dorm room to break up with him. Being in the same college, it wasn’t easy for her to distance herself from him.
Seeing him in the hallway or at football games, all the memories would come rushing back to her each time. But she was not going to let her sad goodbye ruin the rest of her college days. So like Naomi, it’s time to muster some strength and learn how to move on. Saying goodbye to someone you love might seem like the hardest thing to do and deal with but we promise you that with time, it gets better.
Emotional wellness and mindfulness coach Pooja Priyamvada once spoke to Bonobology on this matter, “Even though it’s hard to have a breakup conversation, not giving yourself and your partner closure is plain mean. Ghosting them or not telling them what went wrong for you is not right. You must always come clean and have a heart-to-heart so that you both are clear on each other’s stances and reactions.” If you are wondering how to say goodbye to someone you love but can’t be with, here are 10 ways to do what must be done:
Related Reading: How To Move On When A Breakup Hits Hard
1. Don’t be evasive
I think the worst thing that people do when saying goodbye to a lover is to leave them hanging or buzzing with questions. You’re going to tell them something that will monumentally change their life and everyday existence. The least you can do is be upfront and honest.
Even if you feel like your honesty might hurt them, your last conversation with them cannot be a bed of lies. Respect is the most important thing even when you are breaking things off with somebody. So consider this the right way to respect a woman or a man that you want to dump. Try to be as composed and straightforward as you can.
2. Tell them that you have no hard feelings
Saying “Goodbye, love” does not automatically translate to “I never want to see your face again.” While the whole concept of saying goodbye to someone you love might seem harsh, it does not necessarily come with harsh feelings. But before their mind is full of these negative notions, make sure you tell them that you mean no harm to them.
Just because you believe that some distance will do you two good, does not mean you disregard everything that they have done for you. And if you want a healthy breakup, don’t try to figure out how to say goodbye to someone you love in a text. Your partner deserves an explanation for the sake of their sanity and dismissing your entire relationship over a text is a bit insensitive (unless the nature of your relationship dictates otherwise).
3. Put away the social media reminders
How to say goodbye to someone you love who doesn’t love you? Apply the ‘out of sight, out of mind’ approach and that means a complete social media blackout. Even though you’ve said your sad goodbye to them, Instagram probably does not know yet and still shows them on the top of the list of all those who have checked your stories. These blaring reminders of them being around you and in your space can potentially weaken you.
Saying goodbye to a love is hard enough as it is. But then seeing their name or photos pop up all over your social media is only going to make things worse. Block your ex, unfollow, or deactivate your social media accounts temporarily – do whatever you have to do. No matter how hard it feels, believe me when I say that it just puts you in a better headspace.
4. Don’t get angry at them
Truthfully speaking, the art of ending a relationship well simply does not exist. Sadly, every relationship that you end leaves a lot of doubt and hurt in both people involved. What you can do is work on softening the blow, so when they are angry at the things you’re saying, don’t trudge down that regressive path yourself.
Here’s how to say goodbye to someone you love. Do it as kindly and as calmly as you can. Try and do it in a comfortable setting so that if they do lose their cool, they can express themselves freely. And remember to hold yourself together throughout that time, because if you don’t, you will definitely leave things on a bad note.
Related Reading: Anger Management In Relationships – 10 Ways To Gain Better Control
5. Embrace the reality of it
When you’re saying goodbye to someone you love and the words are rolling off your tongue, at that moment, you might feel somewhat okay. But the moment you get home, are making that coffee, and pick up your phone to see zero texts from them, that’s when the reality is going to hit. And it will hit you hard.
Sometimes how to say goodbye to someone you love in a relationship is about continuing to make that coffee, putting your phone away, and writing down your thoughts and feelings. Write down your hurt, how you miss them, and also how you are now better off without them. It will sting, but it won’t sting forever.
6. Be as firm as you can
Breaking someone’s heart might be the only thing harder than getting your own heart broken. So when the storm has settled, they might start crying or asking you for a second chance. That is indeed when the real test begins of how to say goodbye to someone you love in a relationship.
They might say romantic things, bring up old memories, or do anything to shake you and remind you of how they are good for you. But you’ve thought this through a million times already. Do not give them a chance to second guess your decision. Say your piece, step away, and heal from this. That’s the right way of saying goodbye to a lover you know you never want to return to.
7. Don’t make empty promises
When they’re breaking down in front of you, do not try to think of deep things to say to them or anything else that might give them a ray of hope. “I’m sorry but I’ll always love you” or “I’ll never stop thinking about you” or “Perhaps, one day in the future…” are all the wrong things for you to say.
Making empty promises hoping that they’ll forget about it and move on won’t be the right thing to do. For all you know, they might just end up waiting for you to come around. Keep it clean, keep it direct, and try not to lose your balance.
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8. Forgive them wholeheartedly
Perhaps one of the most difficult ways to say goodbye to someone who might have hurt you is also probably the most essential. To really free your mind of all the negative energy and give yourself the chance to evolve, you must be able to make peace with whatever wrongdoings have taken place in the past.
We all talk about the importance of forgiveness in relationships to be happy. But we often conveniently leave the part where we must learn how to forgive someone even when the relationship is over. The only way to find solace is to unburden yourself of things you do not want to recall.
9. Stop being hard on yourself
Here’s how to say goodbye to someone you love who doesn’t love you back. Don’t be your biggest critic because one person refused to reciprocate your feelings. If from time to time, you find yourself thinking about them or reminiscing about the old days, don’t punish yourself for the same.
Saying goodbye to someone you love but can’t do anything about might make you think of ways to make it work again. But you know that there is no other way out than following the no-contact rule in this situation. Remind yourself of that on the bad days, mope a little, buy that Ben and Jerry’s tub you like, and zone out the rest of the world if you need to.
Related Reading: Dating After A Breakup- The 9 Step Perfect Strategy
10. Remember that you’ll always have your own back
A recent breakup or a heartbreak can leave you feeling blue for a long time. No matter how mature you’ve been, the hurt is the same. After all these ways to say goodbye, there’s one last thing that you must tell yourself. Don’t enter the single life with skepticism or frustration. One bad apple doesn’t mean that the whole fruit basket is disappointing.
Keep your head held high, have faith in yourself, and once you know that the only person you really need is yourself, you’ll never feel compelled to look back. There will be depressive episodes, there will be tears, and lots of guilt to top it off too. But as long as you intuitively remind yourself that you did the right thing, your sails will continue to stay steady and take you out of troubled waters.
How To Say Goodbye To Someone You Love In A Text
To be honest, we don’t recommend ending a relationship over a text message. But sometimes life throws us into a rabbit hole where the idea of facing your partner and saying those hurtful words out loud seems excruciating. And then there are those complicated breakups in which case it probably don’t deserve one second of your time.
For instance, if your partner has been nothing but manipulative, disrespectful, or abusive, you may not want to dignify them with a face-to-face explanation. And that’s absolutely okay. It’s one of those unpleasant situations where text messages come to your rescue. Not sure how to say goodbye to someone you love in a text? We have drafted 5 examples of goodbye messages to someone you love for 5 different circumstances:
- For a mutual breakup: I know you will agree with me when I say that we both meant well. We were just not meant for each other. I wish you find ‘the one’ soon who will also be a dog person and love Victorian novels as much as you do. Good luck out there!
- If you are the one who broke up: (Their name), I have been trying to tell you that I am not happy in this relationship for quite some time now. Either you choose not to listen to my side or keep denying to work on our issues. My self-respect stops me from putting up with such ignorance. I wanted this relationship to work but it seems like we want different things. And it’s better to go our different ways from here
- If they broke up with you: In our last conversation, you made it pretty clear that you don’t see this relationship going anywhere. I need some space to process these feelings. And I don’t see that happening as long as you keep reaching out to me. Perhaps we should go no-contact and let each other move on
- If you cheated on them: Honey, you know how awful I feel for hurting you so bad. If I could go back in time and undo it, I will do that in a heartbeat. I understand me being in your life is not making it any easier for you to deal with the ache. So, here’s the last goodbye. But if I have to go away, can I leave a bit of me with you?
- If they have been unkind to you: (Their name), the sooner you accept that we are over the better. Please respect my privacy and don’t try to contact me ever again. Goodbye
- Be honest and upfront about your feelings regarding this breakup
- Block them on social media
- Avoid blame-shifting or exchange of harsh words in your last conversation
- Don’t entertain any appeal for reconciliation
- If you want to say the final goodbye, forgive your partner from your heart and be kind to yourself
We hope this article clears your confusion about how to say goodbye to someone you love but can’t be with, or how to write a perfect goodbye message to someone you love. But saying goodbye to someone you love in the correct way takes a lot of courage, courage that most people don’t have. So give yourself a little pat, smile that it is over, and look forward to all that is yet to come.
By being as direct as possible. Try not to beat around the bush or come up with excuses that are dishonest. Even if it hurts them, they deserve to know the truth. Smile at the end, thank them for all they’ve done for you, and walk away.
If you are saying goodbye to a lover or somebody you dated, it is best to do it face to face. However, a text can do the job too. So when you text them, put your words across as delicately as you can so they do not misunderstand your tone. Keep it brief but as real as you can.
With a tremendous amount of strength. Your mind will keep circling back to their thoughts but you must remind yourself that you are better off. It’s not easy saying goodbye to someone you love, which is why you must prepare yourself for how your life is going to change. But keep an open outlook because it will all surely change for the better.
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