Elena Fernandes: Gossip and speculation does not define who you are

Supermodel and actor Elena Fernandes, who made her Bollywood debut with Karan Johar’s Kapoor & Sons believes it’s important to find a partner who understands the strains of having a relationship under the public eye.

Qualities which your partner must have

A partner who has my back, no matter what. It’s also important for him to be a good listener and be loyal. I want someone who will stand by my side and not be swayed by rumours that are created in this industry for the sake of gossip.

Qualities which your partner must never have

Dishonesty, because trust once broken is beyond repair. One should be able to trust one’s partner with one’s secrets, knowing fully that they will never betray your trust in them. One should never tolerate a violent partner either.

A partner needs to be respectful, treat you like an equal, never talk down to you or treat you like a sex object.

What place does jealousy have in a man-woman relationship?

Jealousy can be a good thing and in small doses is healthy for a relationship. It’s a natural human emotion to be jealous. It’s when jealousy becomes obsessive that it leads to unnecessary commotion and drama.

Related reading: Where love dwells, jealousy follows?

Does media attention make celeb relationships difficult at times?

It does. You are linked to so many celebrities even when you are just friends and hanging out with each other. This can put a strain on relationships because the niggling doubt can always eat away at a partner. Your partner needs to have immense trust to be able to repeatedly ignore rumours which can sometimes be a test of character and breaking point for a relationship.

Also, you lose a sense of privacy. Whilst I might be used to being followed and having my life discussed in the media, a partner may not be equally comfortable with all the attention.

A relationship subject to media glare and speculation can be very hard and testing. It’s important to find a partner who understands the strains of having a relationship in the public eye.

Do you think that at times one needs to guard their reputation in B-Town?

I think it’s very difficult to guard your reputation when you are in the public eye. People will always make up an opinion of you. The important thing is that you and those who matter to you know who you truly are. We live in a society of constant gossip and speculation but one has to remember that it does not define who you are.

One dating tip for today’s youngsters?

Take it slow. If it’s meant to be, it will be. Respect yourself. There’s always pressure to be cool but bowing down to pressure does nothing for your self-respect. Do what feels right for you and don’t let name-calling sway your actions.

Do you feel that a celeb’s hectic schedule takes its toll on relationships?

Definitely. You are constantly travelling, in different time zones and it does put a strain on a relationship. You generally end up having a long-distance relationship. Although according to me, the success of a relationship need not depend on how much you see each other. If love between you is strong enough then it doesn’t matter how far you are.

What kind of a man would fascinate Elena?

A man who is compassionate towards animals and wants to help make a difference. A man who is funny and loyal and sees me for who I am.

Related reading: So you think it’s fun to date stand-up comedians?

Given a chance which one thing would you want to change in your personal and professional life?

I would like to increase the hours in a day so I can get a lot more done in terms of work and also spend quality time with those I care about.

Your idea of a romantic holiday

It could be anywhere, what matters is quality time with the person I love. It could be a park or a beach, but phones off and relaxing in each other’s company, laughing and sharing stories would be my idea of a perfect holiday.

Who inspires you?

I’m inspired by Kangana. Her work ethic is phenomenal and I love the fact that she is not scared to speak her mind. I respect her for the strong independent woman she is, who has achieved so much despite the elitism and nepotism in Bollywood.