How To Get A Guy To Want You: 15 Science-Backed Strategies

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Before getting into how to get a guy to like you, let us clarify that we do not advise that you trick him or change who you are. In modern dating, what you need to do is send the right signals of interest and see if he responds the same way, rather than trying to manipulate anyone’s feelings. With that said, let us look into psychology-backed strategies on how to make him chase you, create mutual attraction, and increase his interest; all while keeping your self-respect and authenticity.

Top 5 tips on how to get a guy to like you:

Stay authentic and confident
Show subtle interest
Use positive body language
Ask thoughtful questions
Open up and share about yourself

How To Get A Guy To Like You

Before going through the tips, set your expectations: you can’t make someone like you on command. Real attraction has to take place naturally from both sides. See these 15 strategies as guidance on how to make a man want you bad by bringing out your best self, not as manipulative games.

1. Be confident and comfortable with yourself

Nothing is more attractive than a woman who is self-assured and happy in her own skin.

Stand tall
Make eye contact
And let your natural smile show

Confidence, when it’s genuine, is very attractive because it show self-assurance and strength. You don’t need to be loud or become the life of the party; just show secure, positive energy. A confident, secure attitude not only draws a man in, but also sets the tone for healthy attraction.

2. Maintain independence and pursue your interests

Guys like a partner who has her own life. There is no need to drop your hobbies, goals, and friendships for a man. In fact, it makes you more interesting and shows him you won’t cling to him for your happiness. This independence translates to high self-esteem and personal boundaries.

For example, don’t cancel your yoga night or drop long-standing plans just to be available at his whim
Showing that you value your time actually increases your value in his eyes
Do not act needy. Yes, let him see that you want him, but also know you don’t need him to have a fulfilling life

Related Reading: 17 Surprisingly Simple Tips On How To Get Him To Commit To You

3. Stay authentic

Authenticity is very important for attracting the right person for you.

Be honest about your personality, your tastes, and your values
Never pretend to be interested in things you actually dislike just to impress him
Likewise, share with him your real opinions and quirks instead of just people-pleasing

Men find authentic women attractive because it shows confidence and integrity. Plus, if you make a guy fall for the real you, it’ll be far easier in the long-term than maintaining a fake persona constantly.

I don’t “get” people to do anything. I be myself, and if someone likes me for that, awesome. If they don’t, then why would I even want to be friends with them?
– Reddit User

Example

You’ve always gone to a painting class on Thursdays.

When a guy you like asks if you’re free that night, you thank him and suggest meeting up on Friday instead. You don’t drop your class. He sees that you value your own schedule and now he’s even more curious about you
On the date, you’re honest about not knowing much about his favorite sport, but you ask him to teach you the basics instead of pretending to be an expert
By the end of the evening, he’s impressed by your self-assurance and authenticity

Related Reading: 9 Things To Do To Make a Man Stay Madly In Love With You

4. Show subtle, genuine interest

You don’t have to come right out and confess your feelings. Instead, it’s better to show your interest through small but clear actions.

Make warm eye contact from across the room and give a friendly smile
Lean in when talking to him
Face him with your body
And maybe try a light touch on his arm during conversation

Such subtle flirting and non-verbal signals say that you enjoy his company. A study found that eye-contact acts as an important signal of romantic attraction when encountering a dating partner. The idea is to make him feel your positive attention:

Laugh at his jokes
Nod when he speaks
And show enthusiasm

These cues stroke his ego a tad bit, just enough to get him thinking, “Hmm, she really seems to like talking to me…”

Related Reading: 51 Romantic Words For Him To Make Him Yours Forever

5. Use positive body language

How you carry yourself matters a lot for a guy’s level of interest.

Keep an open posture to appear relaxed and inviting; no crossed arms or hiding behind your phone
Smile naturally and place your body toward him. An open posture gives warmth and makes it easier for him to approach you
To take it up a notch, you can even mirror his gestures subtly. For example, if he takes a sip of his drink or leans forward, you do the same a moment later

What’s important is that you be natural about it. When your body language shows that you’re comfortable and focused on him, it amplifies the chemistry between you.

To flirt with your body, you want to cross your legs so that your higher foot is pointing at the guy. This shows your focus is on him (is subliminal). If you have longer hair, sweep it to the side and show off your neck (shows vulnerability). Gently and for short time periods, touch his arm/shoulder/hand/thigh every so often when making a point or laughing at a joke.”
– Reddit User

6. Compliment him

A little bit of sincere flattery will brighten his day and make him associate good feelings with you.

Point out something you genuinely admire
Specific praise works best, e.g. “You handled that situation at work so well” or “Your taste in music is awesome”
Most guys rarely receive any compliments, so when they do, they eat it up
But make sure to not overdo it. A compliment or two at the right moment feels charming, but constant flattery can make you look desperate
Focus on qualities he’s proud of and let him know you notice

This little boost to his confidence will make him feel appreciated and show that you see him; this will deepen his emotional attraction toward you.

Related Reading: The Ultimate List Of 9 Texts To Get Him Chasing You

Example

At a friend’s party, you take a spot next to your crush on the couch.

You face him, playfully bump his shoulder when he jokes, and hold eye contact while he’s sharing his travel stories
As everyone chats, you occasionally reciprocate his upbeat energy; if he laughs and leans forward, you do the same
When he mentions a recent achievement, you touch his arm lightly and say, “Congrats, that’s really impressive!”

None of these gestures are over-the-top, but when done together they clearly show that you’re interested. He’ll likely pick up on the vibe from your body language and kind words, and start responding the same way.

7. Ask thoughtful questions

An easy way to get closer is to encourage him to talk about himself. People love to talk about themselves, as you must’ve heard. So, show curiosity about his life.

Ask open-ended questions about his interests, his childhood, his opinions on things – and really listen to the answers
Maybe you ask, “I saw you playing the guitar earlier. What got you into it?” or “Seen any good movies lately?”
Getting this space to share, he will feel interesting and valued, and as a bonus, you might also discover common interests that bring you two closer

“Find what he likes and ask a lot of questions about it. He will get passionate and excited talking about it and he will associate that feeling to you.”
– Reddit User

8. Listen actively and remember details

When he does open up, give him your full attention. Put away any distractions, like your phone, and be present.

Use affirming phrases
Occasionally repeat and acknowledge what he says to show you’re really listening
Keep note of key things he shares and bring them up later to show you remember

These actions show him that you value his words. Being a good listener is important for emotional connection to grow, because he’ll feel understood and respected.

Related Reading: 10 Ways To Ensure That You Get Your Man’s Attention And Love

9. Show appreciation for his strengths and efforts

Beyond just shallow flirting, let him know you notice the good things he does.

Did he help you or someone else out? Thank him and tell him how kind that was
If he talks about a personal goal or something he’s proud of, encourage him

Men often grow deeper feelings when a person makes them feel admired and appreciated. By highlighting what you like about him, you’re giving him a confidence boost.

Related Reading: 20 Super Cute Ways To Express Your Feelings To Someone You Love

Example

During dinner, you ask him, “So, what made you decide to study engineering?” His eyes light up and he ends up animatedly telling you about a childhood Lego obsession
You listen closely, laughing at the funny parts and saying “That’s awesome” at his accomplishments
Later, he tells you about an upcoming job interview that he’s nervous for
You remember this tiny detail and wish him good luck the next day. He’s pleasantly surprised you remembered
When you meet again, you ask how it went and celebrate his success

By showing you care about his life, you’ve made him feel truly seen; a feeling that’s laying the groundwork for affection.

10. Give him some space

The saying ‘less is more’ definitely applies to dating. It may sound counterintuitive, but hear me out. Resist the urge to be in contact 24×7 or spend every free moment together. If you want to know how to make him miss you, the answer is to live your life and occasionally be unavailable. By giving him room, you allow anticipation and longing to develop. Of course, don’t overdo it, or else he may think that you’re ghosting him.

Let a day or two pass without texting first, or politely end a hangout early because you have other plans
He’ll start to wonder what you’re up to, in a good way
And remember, this isn’t about playing cruel games or ignoring him; we don’t condone such tricks. It’s actually about not smothering the spark. True attraction needs some breathing room

As the saying goes, absence will make his heart grow fonder. And if it doesn’t, he probably wasn’t that interested to begin with.

Related Reading: How To Woo A Guy? Tips To Get A Boy To Like You

11. Support his goals and celebrate his wins

Show that you’re genuinely on his side.

Be curious about that big project he’s working on or his weekend soccer league, and cheer him on
If he tells you about any exams or meetings coming up, send a quick good luck text
Congratulate him on his achievements, no matter how small

This kind of emotional support makes you look like a great future partner. He’ll feel comfortable opening up to you when he knows you believe in him.

Related Reading: 75 Text Messages To Make Him Obsess Over You

12. Open up and share about yourself

Vulnerability and bonding experiences are a must for attraction to grow, so don’t be afraid to let him get to know the real you.

As you talk, gradually share some personal stories, opinions, and feelings; this helps him connect with you on a deeper level
For instance, if he shares a childhood memory, you might chime in with a funny anecdote from your own childhood too
Don’t hesitate to bring out your goofy personality, your passions, and even a bit of your sensitive side when the moment is right
Being emotionally available can help you stand out from others who only have shallow conversations
However, it is just as important to pace yourself. You don’t need to dump your entire life story on date number two; that can be overwhelming

Being vulnerable — Open up and share about yourself

Example

Your guy has been swamped with work this week.

Instead of demanding his attention, you send a supportive text and let him focus
A couple of days later, he calls you, excited to talk now that his deadline passed. He says he missed you, and you can tell giving him space paid off
When you meet up, he shares how stressful it was, and you empathize and relate with a similar story from your own job
He appreciates that you understood his need for space and that you get his ambition

13. Bring humor and create shared experiences

Laughter is an important ingredient in the recipe of dating.

Tease him playfully
Swap funny stories
Or share silly memes

Enjoying humor together makes a unique bond. A good sense of humor can create a positive, enjoyable atmosphere that makes him want to come back for more. Don’t hold yourself back. Be whimsy, let your goofy side out, add a spring to your stride, have some fun. Along with laughs, make memories together:

Go on adventures
Try a new activity
Or discover a mutual hobby

Those shared experiences become your inside jokes and stories, giving your relationship its own special world. Guys often truly fall for the woman who becomes their favorite person to have fun with.

Related Reading: 15 Smart Ways On How To Make A Guy Jealous

14. Be intellectually engaging

Physical attraction might get his attention but it will not sustain it. For that, you need an intellectual connection.

Stimulate his mind by having deep conversations
Discuss a thought-provoking movie
Ask his take on an interesting current event
Debate playfully about which pizza topping is superior
Show off your own knowledge and passions confidently

Men want a woman who can challenge them a bit mentally or teach them something new. So engage in a little banter, share your opinions, and be curious about his.

Related Reading: How To Get Your Boyfriend To Propose: 15 Psychological Tricks

15. Be consistent and genuine over time

One of the most underrated attractors is simple consistency. Men are drawn to someone who is reliable and genuine, rather than hot-and-cold.

If you’re warm and affectionate on Monday, don’t turn aloof on Tuesday as a “test”
Instead, show him that the caring, fun person he’s getting to know is the real you
Follow through on your word
Maintain the same level of respect and interest you showed in the beginning

Consistency is needed to build trust. He needs to know that he can count on you if he sees you as a future partner. Over time, your steady warmth and authenticity will strengthen your bond.

Example

Over a few months of dating, you and your guy have built up lots of “couple” moments; like the time you spontaneously took a weekend road trip and ended up singing 90s songs together for hours
You’ve got playful inside jokes
You also enjoy long talks. On that road trip, you debated your travel bucket lists and childhood dreams
Through it all, you’ve stayed true to yourself: the fun, curious, dependable person he’s come to adore

FAQs

1. How long does it usually take for someone to develop feelings?

The answer can vary from person to person. Some people feel a spark within days, while others need weeks or even months to open up. Infatuation can happen quickly, sure, but for deeper emotional attraction, you need to spend quality time together and get to know each other. So, don’t panic if he isn’t head-over-heels in a week. Maybe your story is supposed to be a slow burn.

2. What are early signs a guy is starting to like you?

He’ll likely show it in his behavior through:
Increased attention: he texts or calls you first and makes an effort to see you
Curiosity: he asks you questions and remembers the details you tell him
And thoughtfulness: he does little things to make you smile or checks in on how you’re doing
You might also notice he gets a bit nervous or eager around you
Physically, he may give plenty of eye contact
Lean in when you talk
Or find excuses to touch you in a respectful way
These are some classic body language signs of interest.

3. Should you tell him you like him directly?

Yes! Being straightforward can be refreshing! If you’ve spent time together and you’re getting good vibes that he likes you too, simply telling him saves you, and him, a lot of time and energy. Most guys will appreciate the honesty and possibly be impressed by it. On the off chance that he might not feel the same way, at least you’ll know where you stand.

Key Pointers

To get a guy to like you, Be authentic and show genuine interest
When in his company, use positive body language, like open posture and leaning, to show that you’re interested
Support him by encouraging his goals and celebrating his achievements
Build an intellectual connection by asking meaningful questions and having deeper conversations
And don’t forget to laugh together and have some fun!

Final Thoughts

At the end of the day, mind games or grand gestures are not the answer for how to get a man to like you. In the article, we’ve shown you how attracting someone special means being authentic, respectful, and fun to be around. In other words, focus on building mutual attraction and trust, and you won’t have to obsess over how to make a guy chase you; a good man will gladly come to you when he feels a real spark.

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