You like someone. But you don’t know if they like you back. You start thinking, “Did I actually see the signs they like me back, or am I reading too much into it?” And that is why you’re here – to figure out how to ask someone if they like you without embarrassing yourself. It can feel scary, even desperate at times, to ask someone if they have a crush on you. But we’ll help you through this, and you’ll soon have your answer.
Why Should You Ask Someone If They Like You?
To ask someone what they think of you, and to make sure you ask all the right things, in the right way, is tricky. You don’t want to be too obvious when confronting someone about their feelings. You also want to ask someone if they like you WITHOUT telling them you like them or being one of the ‘creepy guys‘. When it comes to this, you’re definitely not alone. It is unfortunately a common dilemma.
Here are some reasons you might want to ask that person if they like you romantically:
- To gain clarity: It is certainly better than getting your hopes up and then ending up disappointed
- To make the first move: Some people are just shy and find it really hard to confess. In those cases, your taking the reins might just be the start of something new
- To protect your social circles: If the person you like has overlapping friend circles with you, gaining clarity on feelings would be a smart move to make sure your social life doesn’t get impacted
- To prioritize your friendship with them: You do not want to lose a valuable presence in your life just because of the pesky things we call ‘feelings’, hence, you want to know where you both stand
The only way to know the truth is by asking them. This is why we bring to you 15 smart ways on how to ask someone if they like you without embarrassing yourself. And if it’s a friend you’re confused about, we also offer insights on how to ask someone if they like you without ruining your friendship with them.
How To Ask Someone If They Like You – 15 Smart Ways
No matter what tips you read on the internet, at the end of the day, you’re the one who has to go up to someone and figure out if they like you. Trying to get someone to confess their feelings for you is a delicate matter and navigating this maze requires a lot of courage. However, if you feel you have what it takes, then we’re here to assist you.
1. Pose a vague question
If you want to ask someone if they like you without making it obvious, vagueness is the way to go. Asking a simple question like “We have so much fun together, do you want to do it again sometime?” can go a long way when you want to vaguely hint at your feelings without sounding desperate.
Sarah, one of our readers, shared how she got together with her partner. “Kyle had this very clever way of getting me to spend more time with him back when we were just friends. Even when we’d be hanging out in a group, he would focus on me and afterward make plans for just the two of us. I always had my suspicions but I was scared to ask him if he liked me as more than a friend. Thankfully, after a point, Kyle confessed and we’ve been dating ever since.”
Related Reading: How To Start A Conversation With A Girl: 20 Ways That Never Fail
2. Do it through a text
If you’re looking for ways to ask someone if they have a crush on you, asking them over text is one harmless way to do so. With so many social media apps on the scene, texting has never been easier. If you want to know if they like you after a date or even after just hanging out, shoot them a text after your rendezvous to let them know that you’re thinking of them.
Here are a few ideas:
- “Hey. We met at Jacob’s the other night. It was fun arguing about the existence of aliens, do you maybe wanna do it over coffee sometime?” A simple ‘hi’ and an invite goes a long way in helping you to get their attention and establishing comfortable relations
- “I just heard a song that made me think of you.” Hinting to your crush that you like them could give them space to confess to you too
- “I heard Ryan has a crush on Maya. Do you think they’d make a cute couple?” Asking about mutual friends could give you an opening to confirm your own suspicions
- “I’m so glad you were in class during my presentation today! It was nice to see your face when I looked up.” Pay attention to their reply and maybe you’ll get a confirmation
- Ask them straight up. Sometimes being frank is more appreciated than beating around the bush
Whether you’re confessing your feelings or enquiring about theirs over text, asking the right things becomes a crucial task. Even with the most carefully curated message, there is always a possibility they reject you even if they like you. Also, if they do say no, a conversation over text takes away the sting of face-to-face rejection.
3. GIFs and memes to the rescue
If you’re wondering how to ask someone if they like you in a funny way, GIFs and memes should be your go-to. If your vibes match, then they will appreciate your effort at humor and may also be compelled to consider if they like you more than a friend.
A strong meme/GIF collection can be your wingmate. Who knows, maybe you’ll find the answer in your favor without ruining your friendship.
If you’re struggling to select the right GIF or meme, here are a few tips:
- Look at the stock GIFs on apps like Tenor or Giphy. ‘Flirting with your crush’ or ‘confess your feelings’ usually turn up funny and cute GIFs, making your life a lot easier
- Search with hashtags on Instagram and Twitter. These apps have a meme collection unparalleled by any website and you’re guaranteed to find something helpful
- Pinterest your way through it!
4. Write them a short note to ask them if they like you
Short notes and post-its are cute ways to pass on messages and to ask someone if they like you without making it obvious. It can be hit-or-miss with this one since short notes give the other person more leeway to say no. But if you can be persuasive over writing, this is a straightforward method to express your feelings without being too ‘out there.’
Pam, a writer from New York, says, “Alina and I had been friends for a long while. Even back then, we had this tradition of leaving notes for each other everywhere. Small post-its with random information or tidbits of our life. It was very romantic and soon I caught feelings for her. When I was thinking about how to ask someone if they like you back, I came across this method of confessing through a piece of paper. She actually started crying with joy when I handed her my note!”
5. Be extremely cocky (read: confident)
There is a fine line between being confident and being a creep and how you execute your pickup lines shall decide which side of the line you stand on. If you want to know how to ask someone if they like you in a funny way, go for pickup lines – they are just a lot more entertaining. Even if nothing happens, at least you’d be able to make them laugh!
According to a Reddit user, when girls come up to them and make an effort to get their attention, it works wonders for their self-esteem. Another user narrates the story of when a girl took the reins and asked his friend out, her method warranting a round of applause from everyone who hears about it. These are sure-shot ways of getting their attention and asking someone what they think of you.
Related Reading: 50 Corny Pick-Up Lines To Take Your Dating Game Up A Notch
6. See if they are always ready to help you
“I had this friend in college who was absolutely the sweetest guy I’d ever met,” shares Tricia, a 23-year-old from California. “Michael and I had a very easy friendship and I loved hanging out with him. I remember this one instance when I was really drunk at night and had no place to crash at because I couldn’t go back to my dorm. He came to pick me up at 2 a.m. and let me stay the night at his place even though he had guests over. And then, a few days later, he confessed that he liked me.”
Asking someone to do you a favor can be a vulnerable feeling, but if they like you more than a friend, they would not hesitate to make sure you’re one of their biggest priorities in a relationship. They will be the first in line to offer their help and will not expect anything in return.
Here are a few favors you can ask that person to test this out:
- Ask them to help you with moving your stuff from one place to the next
- Tell them you are hungry in the middle of the night and see what they do. Do they order food for you? Do they come over and make you something?
- Hint upon the fact that you need some company
7. Decode their behavior around you to judge their feelings for you
Asking someone if they like you can be intimidating, especially if you are an introvert. This is why decoding someone’s behavior can be a way to find out if your feelings are reciprocated. People always have certain tells when they have feelings for someone; it is just up to you to figure them out.
Making sure that you eat, dropping you home and confirming that you have reached safely, being there for you when you’re low, doing errands for you when you are sick – all of these are behavioral tells that reveal their feelings. Simple messages like “Text me when you make it home” can be a subtle indication of someone’s feelings for you according to a Reddit user.
8. Ask them directly if they like you
Contrary to the previous point, if you are someone who doesn’t mind having things out in the open, however awkward, then you won’t have much of a struggle with the ‘how to ask someone if they like you’ conundrum. According to a Reddit user, for some people, being the pursuer feels more natural than being pursued. If a certain level of mutual attraction has been established, then asking someone frankly if they like you is the easiest way to go about it.
Although this way is more clear-cut than others, you could still face rejection. The trick here is to not take it personally but realize that it is a case of incompatibility between the two of you. This might be easier to preach than practice but understanding this can go a long way if you’re someone who is very straightforward about their feelings.
9. Create low-pressure scenarios
Creating low-pressure scenarios is a way to counteract the previous suggestion. Instead of being completely forthright with them and asking them if they have a crush on you, an alternate way of going about it is to ask them in a relaxed situation.
An ideal scenario would be a party where you can take them aside and have a private conversation. In situations like these, you can look for small undeniable hints that they like you back or you could, of course, just ask them outright. The privacy of a secluded conversation creates an atmosphere of comfort that you could use to your benefit.
A Reddit user suggests asking them to hang out with you sometime. This way you could gain clarity on the situation. Maybe go for a movie or check out a local museum or a bookstore. If there isn’t a spark, the worst-case scenario would be that the two of you would hang out and have fun without any expectations. If there’s a spark, you can take it forward. Either way, it sounds like a win!
10. Be flirtatious to see if they like you back
If you are like me and randomly flirt with pretty much everyone, this suggestion might be easier for you than most. When you want to ask someone if they like you without telling them you like them, throw in haphazard flirty lines in your conversations. If they flirt back, you have your answer.
Flirty ways to ask someone if they have a crush on you:
- Use funny or cringey pickup lines in casual conversation
- Casually slip in innuendo and see their reaction
- ‘That’s what she said’ jokes for the win!
- Express through your body language while keeping their consent in mind – kissing on the head, holding their hand while walking, casually touching their arm or knee
- Tease them and give them cute nicknames
A word of caution: Make sure you know your audience before you try this out. While flirting might feel natural to you, the other person might just take offense. And we definitely don’t want that. Make sure you’re hinting at all the right things and blow them away with your casual romance.
11. Drop subtle hints
This is a spontaneous and cute way to hint that you like someone. This is also useful when you want to know how to ask someone if they like you. If you have a crush and you want to know if they like you back, pay attention to their body language. Holding eye contact, casually putting their arm around your shoulder, hugging you, leaning toward you when they’re talking to you – all of these are subtle hints they like your company and want your attention.
On the other hand, knowing if a girl likes you can be a little challenging. According to this Reddit user, when a girl starts leaning against you and seeks physical comfort from you, it is usually an indication that she likes you but might be afraid of ruining your friendship by asking outright.
Related Reading: 27 Ways To Tell Someone You Love Them Without Saying It
12. DON’T DO IT IN FRONT OF PEOPLE
If you feel extra determined and confident, then a face-to-face chat is the perfect way to go. However, asking someone if they like you is a sensitive topic to broach, and having people around while trying to have this conversation might just be the worst idea.
Instead, take them to a quiet spot. This produces an intimate setting and is a comfortable way to have a private discussion. Pay attention and analyze their body language when you talk and be open about your emotions. Even if there is no reciprocation, they will appreciate your honesty, leading to a much easier conversation.
13. Rope in your friends to help you out
“Adrian and I have been friends for a long time,” shares Allen, a reader from San Francisco. “I started liking him romantically around the end of high school but it was difficult to decipher if he liked me back. One night, our friend took it into her own hands and texted him about me. Although things never worked out between Adrian and me, we’re still friends and that’s what matters.”
Allen’s story is a classic example of having your friends help out when you want to ask someone if they have a crush on you. It’s easy, it’s friendlier, and they are your mates – they would always love to help you, especially if it could end up making you happy.
14. Use songs to confess your own feelings
In a generation where conversations have condensed to three-letter replies, it is no surprise that finding the words to confess your emotions has become a task. In instances like this, what do you do? You turn to music!
There is no shortage of love songs in the world. While finding the right song might take time, trust us, once you find the perfect lyrics to convey your mood, it will be a cakewalk. Songs like ‘Just the way you are’, ‘Little things’, ‘Still into you’, ‘A thousand years’, and many more are classic love songs that will never let you down.
Some more songs that can up your confession game:
- Dreaming of you – Selena
- I think he knows – Taylor Swift
- 11:11 – Jae Jin
- Stereo hearts – Gym Class Heroes ft. Adam Levine
- Make you mine – PUBLIC
Send them one or two songs a day, depending on your dynamic. See how they react. Do they send you back songs of love? Or do they just appreciate the songs politely and move on?
Related Reading: 13 Signs You Are Deeply In Love With Someone
15. Play scenario games to gauge their feelings for you
Playing a scenario game is a non-suspecting and fun way to ask someone if they like you. This Reddit user suggests a game of ‘kiss/marry/kill’ and putting yourself in the options to determine their feelings. Since it’s a game, it won’t be too serious and at least you’ll know where you stand with them.
- How to ask someone if they like you without embarrassing yourself is a tricky endeavor that requires a little self-awareness and a lot of confidence
- Always be mindful of the person, especially if you don’t want to ruin your friendship or sound desperate
- Remember that no matter what, if you face rejection, it is not a reflection on you; instead, it is the incompatibility between the two of you
We hope you now understand how to ask someone what they think of you romantically. Remember that it’s natural to want people to share your views, but it’s not always realistic. People are diverse and hold different perspectives about everything in life.
So, at the end of the day, even if they’re not into you, isn’t it better to get it out of your system?