How To Tell Someone You Have Feelings For Them Without Ruining What You Have

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Tell Someone You Have Feelings For Them Without Ruining What You Have
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If you have recently developed a crush and you are looking for tips on how to tell someone you have feelings for them, then you have arrived at the right place. It doesn’t matter whether you have known them for a long time or you just started getting to know them, the nervousness can bring you to your knees.

It’s beautiful, isn’t it? The whole falling in love phase. The intense desire to constantly be with them, hold their hands, and listen to them talk all day long. You are lost daydreaming about them. At the same time, you are worried that your feelings won’t be reciprocated. In times like these when you don’t have a clue about the other person’s feelings, you need to look for smooth ways to tell your crush you like them without getting rejected.

Should You Tell Someone Your Feelings For Them? 

If you have fallen hopelessly in love with them, then yes. You have to tell them. But you can’t deny the fear of rejection that’s flooding your thoughts. According to Ph.D. psychologist Tom G. Stevens, “Underlying your fear of rejection might be a fear of being or living alone. You might fear ending up all alone in the world with no one who really cares.”

You are scared to get rejected. But what if they love you back? That’s always a 50-50 chance, isn’t it? Don’t miss out on such an amazing person just because you are afraid they won’t give you the kind of love you are seeking from them. Because who knows, they could even be your soulmate. There’s no science to identify if soulmates are real but according to a poll, 73% of Americans believe in soulmates. So, why not try your luck and find out if they’re as interested in you as you are in them? 

On the contrary, listed below are a few circumstances when you shouldn’t tell someone you have feelings for them. 

  • When they are dating or in a relationship with someone else
  • If they have referred to you as their sibling 
  • If they have already told you they aren’t interested in a romantic relationship with you
  • If you have dated any of their best friends or siblings and vice versa
  • If they encourage you to go on dates with other people 
  • When they constantly friend-zone you

If none of the above is applicable to your situation, then read on to find out how to tell someone you have feelings for them without scaring them away.

Related Reading: Confused About A Guy? 18 Tips To Help You

When To Tell Someone You Have Feelings For Them

Hearing someone’s romantic declaration can be spellbinding. Almost everyone loves to hear that they have become someone’s object of desire and that there is someone out there who loves them for who they are. On the contrary, it’s not the same for the person who is confessing their feelings. It can be daunting to tell your crush you like them without getting rejected. The thought of confessing your feelings is nerve-wracking, isn’t it?

But if you don’t tell them how you feel about them, they will never know. What if they want to see you making the first move? What if they’ve been waiting for you to confess your feelings? What if they feel the same way about you? What if, after your confession, they start to see you from a romantic perspective? Are you going to throw this all away because you are scared to tell someone how you feel about them? It’s time to have some confidence boost and confess your feelings without actually saying ‘those’ words.

Now, when to tell someone you have feelings for them? Is there a right time when they won’t take your confession the wrong way? Or an appropriate time that would make them say they love you too? While there is no exact time given by scientists or researchers to declare your love, there are a few things to consider when to tell your crush you like them without getting rejected:

  • They are single and have healed from their past relationships
  • If they are newly single, see where they stand on the breakup healing process
  • You’ve taken them on at least five dates 
  • Wait for at least two months before you tell someone how you feel about them. Until then, let your body language confess your feelings 
  • Don’t confess your feelings after sex. This may make them feel like you said it only because you had sex with them. Don’t say it during the act either!
  • Don’t say you love them when you are having a mental breakdown or when you are very emotional and aren’t able to think rationally 

Beautiful Ways To Tell Someone You Have Feelings For Them 

Before you go out on a limb and confess your love, go through your feelings. Clarify what you feel for them and what you want from them. Is it infatuation? Do you just want a casual relationship with them? Are you just experiencing signs of sexual tension you can’t ignore? Or do you see a happy and harmonious future together? 

You can tell someone you like them without ruining your friendship if you’re clear about your feelings beforehand. Once your feelings are established within you, find out how to tell someone you have feelings for them using the following tips. 

1. Make your crush feel special

Before telling a friend you have feelings for them, you have to make them feel special. When you tell someone that they are special, they will understand that they have a place in your life, that won’t be filled by just another Joe or Jane. Some beautiful phrases to tell someone you have feelings for them without saying it are:

  • I love spending time with you
  • You inspire me to be a better person
  • I am grateful to have you in my life

Related Reading: 15 Signs He Wants To Confess His Feelings For You

2. Send them memes

This is one of the few tips that works on almost everyone, because who doesn’t love memes? Memes have become a universal love language these days. You see a meme, you think of someone, and you send it to them. How sweet is that! Send them funny memes and make them laugh. This is not a direct way to tell them you like them but it will let them know they are on your mind. 

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3. Compliment them

We all love to receive compliments especially if it’s from someone we like. This is one of the smooth ways to tell your crush you like them without coming off too strong. When you are telling someone you have feelings for them without actually using those three words, try to compliment them. Just don’t make it creepy by telling them they have nice feet or a beautiful mouth. If they blush, then it’s one of the sure-shot signs your crush likes you back. Compliment them in a sweet way like:

  • I love your smile, it’s so warm and sincere
  • You have a great sense of humor, you make me laugh every day
  • I like your sense of style, where do you get your clothes from?
  • Your hairstyle really suits you, you always manage to look great!

4. Flirt with the person you love

When you are trying to tell someone how you feel about them, it’s important to know all the rules of flirting. No sleazy comments about their dressing sense and avoid making things awkward by going overboard with the flirting. Unlike in movies, flirting doesn’t come easily and naturally to everyone in real life.

Sometimes when we are telling someone we love them, we mess it up so badly that we think about it years later and still cringe. Sit face to face with them and have a strong gaze game. Look at their eyes and lips. Let them catch you looking at them. If you want to tell someone you like them without ruining your friendship, then try such subtle ways of flirting. 

5. Sit close to them

Lets look for signs of chemistry between two people. Tell someone you have feelings for them without saying it in words, but by gestures and actions. Sit close to them but don’t sit so close that they mistake your proximity to you violating boundaries. When you are trying to tell someone how you feel about them. sit somewhere between slight physical touch to 18 inches away from them as that’s commonly known as the ‘intimate zone.’ Direct and lean your body toward them and see if they pull back. If they don’t, then they are attracted to you as well. 

6. Touch them but not in a creepy way

Touch is one of the love languages. It releases the bonding and feel-good hormone oxytocin, which is an instinctive way to strengthen your connection. We are not talking about touch in a sexual manner. Nothing erotic, just a slight graze of fingers or arms. If they aren’t offended or taken aback by this, then it’s one of the undeniable mutual attraction signs which can’t be ignored.

7. Keep smiling

How to tell someone you have feelings for them without actually saying it out loud? Let your expressions do all the talking. Smile at them. When you are actively pursuing someone and making excuses to spend time with them, up your smile game. Make eye contact and blink at them slowly. Smile warmly and gently whenever you look at them or when they look at you. 

Related Reading: How To Start A Conversation With A Guy – 30 Tips

8. Wear their favorite color

Want to tell someone how you feel about them without having to actually use words? Try to impress them by wearing their favorite color. This is one of the things I used to do to impress my crush. His favorite color is black. I made sure I wore a black dress on an outing with friends. When no one was around, he looked at me for a few seconds and said, “Black is your color.” Believe me, I couldn’t stop blushing the entire time he was around. 

tell someone you like them without ruining your friendship
Touch them appropriately and with good intentions when you like someone

9. Give them small gifts

How to tell someone you like them? Get them things that they would value or enjoy as gift giving is a love language which not a lot of people are aware of. These gifts don’t have to be expensive or extravagant. A fresh rose, a couple of chocolates, a keychain, a paperweight, or just a coffee mug is enough to tell someone you have feelings for them without saying it. Just make sure they are aware that you don’t go around making such sweet gestures toward everyone. 

10. Listen to them and remember the tiny details

How to tell someone you have feelings for them? Be a good listener. It’s important to be a good listener when you want to impress your crush. Remembering the tiny details will act as a booster. I’ve always been a great listener but I become even more alert and responsive when I am talking to my crush. The other day he was talking about his cousin who lives abroad and I immediately responded by asking, “The cousin who lives in Dublin?” He was surprised that I listened and remembered everything he’d shared earlier. 

11. Show them every side of you 

If you want to know how to tell someone you like them and want them to like you just as you are, then show them every side of you. The good, the bad, the best, and the ugly. If you like someone and see them as your future partner, then don’t hide yourself or try to appear perfect. Nobody is perfect. Ask questions to build emotional intimacy between the two of you.

When you and your crush are being your true and honest self while answering the questions, an unbreakable bond will be created. Tell them all the things you are afraid of telling others. Make your feelings clear by opening up to them emotionally in every sense of the word. Bare your soul and let them know that you have placed your trust in them.

12. Appreciate all their qualities 

This is one of the many smooth ways to tell your crush you like them. When they reveal their good and bad traits, don’t get scared. If they tell you about certain insecurities, don’t get alarmed or make a big deal about it. When I asked my friend Scott how to tell someone you have feelings for them, he replied in the simplest of ways. He said, “When they share their vulnerabilities and secrets with you, protect them as you would protect yours.” So, try to confess your feelings by appreciating all their good and bad qualities.

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13. Show interest in the things they like

This is one of the other ways to make someone realize that you like them. Do they like all things art? Take them to a museum. They love wine? Take them to a vineyard or wine tasting events. They love books? Accompany them to a library and ask them to recommend a book for you. We are all so busy with our lives that we hardly manage to pursue our own hobbies. When you go out of your way to take interest in the things they like, they will know you have genuine feelings toward them. 

14. Talk to your friends 

When you like someone more than anything else in this world, your friends probably know your situation. They might have even met your crush and analyzed their behavior toward you. Get their tips. Ask them if they sensed a vibe of reciprocation from your crush’s side. If they are positive about it, then you are all set to go ahead and confess. 

15. Don’t make a big deal about confessing your love

Saying “I love you” for the first time can be a little daunting. You are already a nervous wreck from trying to find the right words to confess. Don’t multiply the pressure by planning an over-the-top evening for your crush. Don’t go down on one knee, book the entire hotel, or get them expensive gifts for this purpose. Keep it simple and avoid going overboard. 

16. Pick the right moment and place

The reason this is so important is that you want everything to be on your side. Choose a place where you are both comfortable. Don’t blurt out that you like them when they are talking about work stress or if they are sharing a family problem. When and how to tell someone you have feelings for them is important. Ensure they are in a good mood. But don’t go on prattling about how much you like them. This brings us to the next point.

17. Prepare your confession 

Here’s a tip on how to tell someone you have feelings for them: Make sure you plan and think about what you are going to say. I often fumble when I am nervous or agitated. So prepare beforehand. Don’t say “I love you” immediately like Ted did with Robin in How I Met Your Mother. Don’t scare them away by pulling the love card on your first date. Instead, say sweet things like:

  • “I really like you, Emma”
  • “I feel an intimate connection with you, Sam”
  • “Maybe we can go on a dinner date? I know this amazing restaurant that serves lobsters”

Related Reading: 101 Sweet Things To Say To Your Girlfriend To Make Her Cry

18. Be confident

Being confident is a smooth way to tell your crush you like them. Don’t be overconfident or cocky when you like someone who doesn’t know about your feelings yet. Make sure you tell them what you want from them. If it’s just casual dating, then mention that you aren’t looking for anything serious. If it’s genuine attraction, let them know that you would want to commit if things go well.

stories on falling in love and more

19. Decide if you want to confess in person or on text

How to tell someone you have feelings for them? When you like someone, it is best to tell them in person. Telling someone you like them in person is the best way because you get to look into their eyes and hold their hand. You also get to see their expressions when you pour your heart out. Find a good place where nobody will disturb you. Or you can do what Violet, a reader from Ohio, did, “I was way too anxious about confessing in person, so I messaged them that I’m starting to like them more and more every day.” She giggles and adds, “It went well!”

20. Give them space to process this information

You think the hard part is over? Not yet. Once you confess and tell someone you like them, don’t bombard them with messages and phone calls asking them for their reply. Step away. Find out ways to stop obsessing over them and let them take their time. If this confession came out of nowhere and they weren’t expecting it, they will need some time to process this information. When you genuinely like someone, let them think about it, and don’t rush their decision. 

21. Don’t compel them to make plans with you

If they have asked you to give them space to process this, don’t keep asking them if they want to meet you for lunch. Don’t insist upon meeting or hold them to the plans they had made with you before the confession. You will feel like calling them up and wanting to know why they haven’t replied to your confession yet. Don’t be desperate. If they like you back, you wouldn’t have to beg for a date. Let them approach you first.

22. Respect their decision

If they say yes, then three cheers for you. Go on and plan cute dates with them. Your quest for how to tell someone you have feelings for them has come to fruition. But if their answer is no, then be proud of yourself that you overcame so much nervousness and confessed your feelings. Telling someone you love them and getting rejected is a part of life. You just have to learn how to get over unrequited love and cope with your feelings in a healthy way.

23. Don’t be afraid of rejection

Suppose they don’t reciprocate your feelings. Your heart will break and you will shed tears but at least you won’t have to live with the regret of not confessing. Rejections are a part of life. You don’t have to hate them for it. They rejected you, take it with a pinch of salt and move on. it’s not the end of the world if they don’t feel like you do. There are plenty of fish in the sea. 

Key Pointers

  • When you have a crush on someone, you don’t know how to confess these feelings for the fear of romantic rejection. However, there are ways you can make your romantic declaration without actually saying it out loud
  • You can tell them you like them with the correct use of your body language. You can make eye contact with them and mirror their body language. You can touch them gently and compliment them
  • Once you have confessed your feelings, it is best to not force them to give you an answer. Let them take their time and get back to you when they are ready to talk

Love makes the world ten times more beautiful, it makes you a better person, and it adds color to your life. It makes life worth living. Telling someone you have feelings for them is a heart-warming moment. Your ego or your insecurities shouldn’t stop you from experiencing such a pure moment. If you want to confess your love, then we hope the above-mentioned ways on how to tell someone you like them help you. 

This article was updated in January 2023.

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