My Sex Life With My Husband Is Good But I Still Feel Like Masturbating

Riddhi Shukla
Sex Life

I have been married for 15 years, and I am very happily married. I have a very satisfying sex life with my husband. But I feel like masturbating occasionally and enjoy doing it. I don’t know how masturbation and married people are connected. Women who masturbate regularly are they actually married or single? 

I Have A Good Sex Life, But I Still Feel Like Masturbating

Sometimes I feel it’s amazing how we have kept the spark in the bedroom alive in our long marriage. There is no doubt the frequency has dropped, but when we get into the act, it is very satisfying. 

We also keep experimenting with different positions and different ways of stimulating each other. But there are times I feel like masturbating, and the whole feeling is very liberating. I haven’t asked my husband about what he feels about his spouse masturbating.  

Is this urge to masturbate normal, or is there something abnormal about me?

sad woman

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Dear Lady,

Male masturbation is welcomed in our society, whereas female masturbation is mostly judged. Why so?

We all need to understand that, like men, women can have the desire to self-pleasure. Women who masturbate regularly are doing nothing wrong.

Masturbation for women is normal

It is normal for women to enter into the solo act. According to a study from Kinsey institute more than half of the American women 18 – 49 masturbate at least once every three months, and that’s true for single women as well as those who are coupled up. In India, data is lacking due to various reasons.

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Women have mixed feelings

Stigma about women’s self-pleasure is going away slowly, but there are lots of myths still prevailing. Women do have mixed feelings about getting into it and also how to touch (and not touch) their intimate areas.

Related Reading: 6 Things Every Girl Should Do For Maintaining Hygiene Down There

Medical benefits of women’s masturbation

There are some medical benefits of masturbation. It increases blood flow to the genitalia as well as the whole body. The act releases hormones called endorphins which are happiness-inducing hormones that help in boosting emotional and mental health. Research suggests it is a stress reliever for both the genders. It activates the pleasure area in the brain, so it takes away all the worries. Women can reach an orgasm through masturbation.

You get to know your body better

Masturbation gives you a chance to know your body as well as its desires. Many women claim that it helps to increase self-confidence. For many couples where the woman has difficulty in reaching an orgasm, masturbation can be used as a treatment modality. Women gradually can learn about their erotic sensual areas of the body as well as orgasmic responses.

It is perfect for sexual gratification

Single women from 18 – 80 can enjoy the solo act as a very important aspect of their life. Many women with partners also experience it as a sex boosting-tool. Male partners do take it in both the ways. Many male partners feel guilty of not satisfying their women, and some do respect it as absolutely natural needs of a woman. Masturbation can be done with fingers or with vibrators (sex toys). Orgasmic responses are the same as the act with a partner. Various stimulants and positions can be tried. Also, our experts can guide you about various types, methods and responses.

Hope this helps

Riddhi Shukla

We at Bonobology can connect you to the expert in this field who can teach you and help you resolve myths/questions/ queries.

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