The signs a girl likes you over text often slip by you, which leaves you trapped in a perennial dilemma. If you’re experiencing it first-hand as we speak, you know exactly what we’re talking about. You’re in that curious place where one moment it seems as if she’s fallen for you head over heels and the next, everything seems casual – as if this text she just sent you could have been for any of her buddies, coworkers, classmates, even siblings.
That brings up another dilemma: Should you make a move to take things forward? We know how hard it can be to make sense of a girl’s feelings over text when so many of you can’t even decode them in person. But you can always look out for tell-tale signs she loves you deeply over text. Today, we’re going to help you spot them so you know whether you should make the next move or not.
How To Know If A Girl Likes You Over Text – 21 Subtle Signs
As smartphones become an integral part of our lives, the ‘texting phase’ has become a precursor of sorts to actual dating. Particularly, for the generation of digital natives who’re coming of age just about now. Whether you connect on a dating site, on social media, through friends, at work, or the good ol’ fashioned meeting in a bar, texting is the first step in getting to know each other.
When asked “How to tell if a woman likes you?”, a Reddit user says, “Well, if she actually puts some effort into the conversation, that’s a start. If the responses take too long, are low effort, and feel lazy then she’s not feeling it.” Another Reddit user got rejected by their crush twice even though they thought they saw the signs she likes them back. They suggest, “My best advice would be to just ask her what her feelings are, or just go ahead and ask her out.”
As you keep exchanging texts back and forth, the “Is she being polite or interested?” question is bound to crop up at some point. You must be stuck in the ‘to ask, or not to ask’ dilemma. Even if she seems interested, you may still be left racking your brain over it. If you’re paying attention to these 21 subtle signs a girl likes you over text, you can get some clarity instead of bothering your friends with non-stop screenshots.
Related Reading: 8 Rules Of Texting While Dating
1. She starts initiating meaningful conversations
When you first started interacting, chances are that you were the one taking the lead. She only responded when you reached out. But that changed when she began to develop feelings for you. A classic sign that a girl is showing interest is that she starts initiating conversations with you.
Is she sending you more memes throughout the day (A bit of Gen-Z flirting right there)? Or is she trying to come up with witty responses even if the things you say are super plain? Then know that the girl has a crush on you over text. No longer will your messages be met with dry responses, and no longer will you see any one-word answers. Instead, you’ll notice the same sense of excitement in her as you do in yourself when you talk to her.
She wants to keep talking to you and getting to know you which is why she is putting in all this effort. On the other hand, if you never see her initiating any sort of conversation, it may be her way of letting you know that she’s got bigger fish to fry.
2. She texts you for no reason at all
Pay attention to the context of her messages. Yup, that is important too. If she is interested, she might start double texting you. And the frequency of these texts might actually surprise you. She is not worried about sounding too needy or clingy or doesn’t care that she is the one to text first. It’s the conversation that matters. Though they’re not exactly signs of flirting from a girl over text, these are the sort of texts you can expect if she texts you for no reason and more frequently:
- What you doing right now?
- What have you been up to?
- What’s going on?
These texts are not only fillers but indications that’ll help you figure out how to tell if she is interested through texts. This is her way of striking up a conversation when she has nothing in particular to talk about. She just wants to keep in touch with you. In effect, it’s a sign that she’s been thinking of you a lot.
3. She messages you a lot
It can be particularly hard to decipher if she seems interested but she’s a shy person, because her innuendos can be extremely veiled. So pay attention to this significant change in her texting patterns – if she starts messaging you a lot and very frequently, you can be fairly certain of feelings blossoming on her side.
When a shy girl has a crush on you over text, she won’t exactly say it out loud to you so easily, but will make it obvious in other ways. If she’s sending you good morning messages, good night texts, and the casual “How was your day at work today?”, boy, something is definitely cooking. A good sign that she’s into you is if she’s texting you things like:
- What you doing? Super bored. Talk to me
- Did you see that new show yet?
- How did your presentation go?
Related Reading: 15 Unwritten Rules Of Dating We All Should Follow
4. She keeps the conversation flowing
When a girl develops feelings for you or has a crush on you, she just can’t get enough of you. That’s why she keeps the conversation flowing. Even if it means that she has to put in a lot of effort and make time to chat with you or think of new things to talk about.
So even if you are sending replies like “hmm” or just laughing emojis, that does not seem to dishearten her. She knows you might be becoming disinterested but she’ll do everything to get your attention again. In fact, she can go to the extent of digging up your areas of interest on the internet to keep you hooked on the chat. She might even send a cute selfie to keep the conversation going.
- You: Hmm
- She: You know, I recently watched this WW2 film. It was fantastic! Have you watched The Forgotten Battle?
- You: Yeah, I know about it.
- She: Nice, what did you have for dinner?
5. She texts you at odd hours
How to know a girl loves you through chatting? She would reply to your texts at the oddest hours. If a girl texts you late at night, there is little room for contention over her feelings for you. She is up at night, unable to sleep. And you’re on her mind even at that hour. If that doesn’t scream “I’m smitten”, we don’t know what does.
And come on, we are all super busy these days. With our 9-5 lifestyles and crazy schedules, not every woman has the time to be up discussing Star Wars with you at 2 a.m. But if she does, well, consider yourself lucky. Because this is one of the signs she is developing feelings over text.
6. She can chat with you all night
When a girl texts you late at night and keeps the conversation going till the wee hours of the morning, she’s letting you know that she has a good time while talking to you. It doesn’t matter whether she has an early morning the next day, a big presentation at work, or an assignment to submit at school. She enjoys her interaction with you so much that she is ready to sacrifice her sleep and power through the next day.
To be honest, it’s those conversations after 2 a.m. that really get things off the ground. If these late-night chats are a regular occurrence, sooner or later, you’re bound to see a few signs of flirting from a girl over text. By that point, it should get pretty obvious.
Related Reading: 21 Do’s And Don’ts When Starting A New Relationship
7. She starts throwing emojis in the mix
When emotions are at play, people often fall short of words. If this girl you’re chatting with a lot suddenly starts using a lot of emojis in her conversations, take it as a positive sign. Particularly if these include too many hearts, heart eyes, and kisses. It is also possible that a shy woman likes you but feels too awkward putting her feelings out there.
So, she is taking refuge in the language of emoticons. Watch out, folks. If a girl is interested in you through Whatsapp, she might be throwing in a lot of sweet emojis, stickers, and GIFs to tacitly indicate the same. Given that you can’t always gauge the other person’s enthusiasm through texts, emojis come in handy to express how excited she is to talk to you. Most women might send you messages that look a bit like this:
- Hey there😘How was your meeting today?
- Aww, thanks so much sweetie🥰I really appreciate this
- Someone is looking gorgeous in their DP 😍
8. Her texts are long
Another one of the clearest signs she’s into you but is holding off taking things forward for some reason is the length of her texts. When her texts are long and elaborate, it’s a clear indication that she wants you to know her better. And vice versa. When you share something personal or talk about any problem you are facing, she ponders over it and comes back with a thoughtful, considerate response.
She’s seeking an emotional connection with you which is why she puts the effort into typing out longer messages. She does not want to just make small talk with you, but get to know who you really are. If she takes out the time to explain things to you, it could be one of the signs she is developing feelings over text.
9. You both know each other’s routines by now
Here’s an excellent way to know if she’s interested. Answer this: Has texting back and forth become an integral part of your lives? Does she text you in the middle of the day to ask what you’re doing or whether you’ve had lunch yet? Does she check in with you about an important meeting you had scheduled for the day? Does she know your routine inside out now? Also, does she share similar frequent updates of her day with you?
If you’ve answered all of these questions in the affirmative, you can say with certainty that this shy girl has a crush on you over text. In fact, your equation has already entered into unofficial relationship territory. A ‘textationship’, if you will. She might even suggest some texting games to play so that you are constantly talking. The point is, you know what the other is doing every hour of the day, and you both love it. When this happens, you may be sending messages like these to each other:
- Done with your mid-day nap yet?
- You must’ve worked out by now, right? How was it?
- Aren’t you late for football?
- I know you’re going to be busy with assignments at this hour, so text me once you’re done
10. She responds to your texts instantly
No matter what she is doing or where she is – unless she is on a flight, perhaps, or is asleep – a girl who likes you will always respond to your texts instantly. Even if it is just to say: “In a meeting. TTYL.” Her urge to reply super quickly even if she’s busy in the middle of a meeting clearly indicates the signs she loves you deeply over text. She doesn’t even need to make an effort to do this.
Once she starts liking you, these instant responses just come naturally with the territory. She likes you which is why she does not want to leave you hanging. Also, this is one of the ways to show you that she prioritizes you. So take the cue, and know that this girl has a crush on you.
Related Reading: Dating vs Relationship – 8 Subtle Differences You Never Knew About
11. She tries to get to know you
Not sure how to tell if a woman likes you through text? Is she just being polite or is genuinely interested in you? If you cannot shake this question off your mind, this one tendency ought to settle it for you. Has this girl you’ve been talking to made a real effort to know the real you? Does she ask a lot of questions about your likes and dislikes? Is she intrigued about your past and plans for the future?
One of the clearest signs that she’s into you is if you can answer all those questions we just asked with a resounding “yes”. There’s no reason she’ll spend her precious time trying to know the person you are if she’s not interested in you. You may see her sending messages like:
- Where did you grow up?
- Tell me about yourself, what do you love to do?
- Why do you like this sort of music?
- Where do you want to travel?
12. She invents fun games just to keep chatting
Like we said, one of the hallmarks of a girl’s interest in you during the ‘texting phase’ is that she keeps the conversation flowing. And no, that doesn’t mean that she keeps it going by texting you just a few words. To that end, she may invent fun games or add a virtual twist to classics to fill in the gaps when you both run out of things to say.
Has she ever initiated something along the lines of “Let’s see who knows whom better”? Or a session of Never Have I Ever, perhaps? Yes? Rest easy, my friend, she definitely has the hots for you. And she’s reaching out over text to let you know. Take the hint.
13. Your absence irks her
How to know if she likes you? Take notice of how she reacts in case you are unable to text her or respond to her messages for some reason. It may irk her or upset her. While she may not say it in as many words, you can get a sense of it when she subtly seeks an explanation for your absence.
This means she missed having you around. Perhaps even found herself feeling a little insecure, especially if you didn’t intimate her about your unavailability beforehand. Don’t go missing on purpose just to gauge her reaction though. There should be no room for such petty mind games if you hope to take things forward with her.
- Someone clearly forgot me today 🙁
- Where the hell have you been? I was worried sick for two days
- I missed you today
14. Your texts make her laugh
Let’s talk about one of the obvious signs a woman likes you. Are your conversations punctuated with frequent ‘LOL’, ‘LMAO’, ‘ROFL’, or plain all-caps ‘HAHAHAHAHA’? This is her way of telling you that you make her laugh and that she just genuinely has a great time talking to you over text. Since that is an admirable quality to have in a potential partner, you can read it as a sign that she likes you because you make her happy.
However, make sure you know the difference between her being polite and her genuinely having a good time while talking to you. If she’s just polite and laughing a bit at your jokes, you’ll notice that the rest of the indications we’ve listed out might not be too apparent in her behavior. So don’t assume all sorts of laughter to be a way in, lest you assume that she’s giving you mixed signals.
15. She teases you – this is one of the signs a girl likes you over text
How to ask a girl if she likes you without being obvious over text? Well, one of the signs a woman likes you but is trying not to show it over text is when she gets a little too playful and teases you. You can be sure a girl is showing interest when she starts teasing you and goofing around with you, in person, and definitely also when you are texting online.
She may say something outlandish to elicit an emotional response from you. Or something outright naughty to get you all fired up. She may even give you funny nicknames to laugh a little at your expense. Either way, she is sending a clear hint that she’s interested and would appreciate it if you reciprocated. If she’s sending you something along these lines, consider it a good sign:
- Good morning, Mr. Sleepy Sleeperson. Are you up yet?
- That’s not the right angle to take a selfie. Forget it, I will show you later. What’d you do without me?
- Did you miss me at all today?
Related Reading: 30 Interesting Questions To Ask A Girl To Know Her Better
16. Her conversations become animated
Girls typically take a lot of time letting their guard down around someone new. If her conversations with you become animated, it’s a sign that she has found a certain comfort level with you. That comes only when you like someone enough to feel an emotional connection with them.
An example of animated conversations would be using ALL CAPS TO EXPRESS HER DISPLEASURE AT SOMETHING YOU’VE DONE, stretching her words just to sound ‘cuuuuuuuute’, or using baby talk to let you see that there is an ‘adorbs’ side to her too. I guess that’s one way to answer your question about how to tell if a woman likes you through text. She’ll send you messages along the following lines:
- Heeeeeeey, whatchu up to?
- Well aren’t you the cuuuuutest?
- Staahp you’re making me shy!
17. She shares her pictures with you
Wondering if the girl is interested in you through WhatsApp? Hmm, does she ever send photos or videos to show you what’s going on in her day? Because that could indeed mean something more. Now, hold your horses. When we say pictures, we DO NOT mean nudes.
This could just be her sending a snap of her coffee cup or even just the sunset that she saw while running in the park. But if a girl starts sharing her pictures with you, without you even having to ask for it, it means she not only likes you but also trusts you. It also means that she’s excited to share a selfie with you because she knows you’ll appreciate it. As long as it’s not one of those redundant streak snaps that kids these days send about, her sending pictures of her day/outfit/face to you is an excellent way to know how comfortable she is with you.
18. She starts sharing random stuff with you
How to know a girl loves you through chatting? Well, once you two have established a certain rapport, she may start sharing random stuff with you. Picture of a cute doggo she met in the street, a genuine “woke up like this” photo, memes, playlists, screenshots of her weekly to-do list, and everything else in between.
This means her feelings for you are now beyond just liking or an infatuation misplaced as a crush. She feels comfortable sharing her thoughts and weirdness with you, and feels closer to you. Naturally, she would take every chance to open up about bits and pieces of her life and give you an opportunity to know her better. You might get messages from her like these:
- Look at this cute baby I saw at the cafe today
- Isn’t this dog the absolute cutest?
- The most random thing happened with me today, want to hear about it?
However, if you’re both already best friends or have a habit of talking about your days with each other, she may just be sharing random stuff with you because she’s accustomed to it. To make sure it’s not a mixed signal, try to see if you can spot the other mannerisms we listed out. For example, when a girl texts you late at night and flirts with you a little, coupled with sharing random stuff with you, it could be a good sign.
19. Your interactions seem effortless
Where in the beginning you both needed to put in a significant amount of effort to think of things to talk about and hone your texting skills, your interactions have now become effortlessly smooth. It’s a sign that on some level, she’s started perceiving you as an integral part of her life. Chances are that the attraction is mutual.
Maybe now instead of a “Hey”, she starts her conversation with an “Ugh I don’t want to cook tonight. What pizza should I order?”. You won’t need to send her follow-up texts to get her to text you, your conversations will flow naturally enough to have all your questions answered. If she feels like she can text you whenever out of the blue and starts making less effort in being proper and formal, it could be one of the signs she is developing feelings over text.
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20. She starts flirting with you
“How to tell if a woman likes you?” you ask. A girl flirting over text is an unmistakable sign of her interest in you. She may flatter you with compliments, drop hints about her interest in you, tease you playfully, or egg you on to take things forward. By this point, you won’t have to worry about trying to figure out how to ask a girl if she likes you without being obvious over text. You might even see her sending you texts like:
- So, what would you do with me if we went out on a date?
- You’ve got such a cute smile, I can’t wait to see it in person
- Are you trying to make me laugh? Well, it’s working
- You sure do know how to attract women, don’t you?
Once your text interactions reach this stage, there is no reason that you shouldn’t take a look at a few flirting tips. It is clear now that she wants you. So what are you waiting for? Take a leap of faith and ask her out.
21. She graduates to video calls
Sometimes, the ‘how to tell if she is interested through text’ question gets answered by what she does apart from texting you. If she’s comfortable around you, she won’t hesitate to make an occasional video call to talk to you up close and personal. In case a shy woman is into you, she may not be the one to initiate these calls but she’ll definitely accept should you take the initiative. For a shy girl trying to fit in the dating zone, that in itself is a big deal. Many other video and voice calls that she has watched ring but couldn’t bring herself to answer are a testament to the fact.
- The most obvious signs of a woman’s interest in you is if she initiates conversations and texts you for no reason sometimes
- She texts you often, even at night
- If you feel like she wants to get to know you more, and that you get instant replies from her, it could be a clear sign of her being interested in you
- If she flirts with you and teases you and sends thoughtfully composed long texts, her interest in you should be clear
Now that you’ve gained clarity on the signs a girl likes you over text, keep a keen eye out for these subtle but clear indications. If you’re paying attention and spot a majority of them in your interactions with a girl you’re interested in, this thing you’ve got going is definitely headed somewhere. Ask her out already!
This article has been updated in December 2022.
If you’re strong enough to handle rejection, you could ask her upfront. Otherwise, use these 21 subtle signs to gauge her feelings for you and then plan your next move.
Here’s what to do when a girl says she likes you over text. Tell her how you feel about her. If you’re interested too, then that’s great. But if not, it’s better to burst her bubble now (gently) than string her along on false hope for no reason.
In all likelihood, yes. There is no reason that she’d say so unless she means it. Except, of course, if she’s trying to manipulate you for some reason, but the odds of that happening are slim.
If she is playing mind games, doing the hot-and-cold dance, or keeping you on tenterhooks without betraying how she feels about you, there is a good chance she is playing you.
If you too like her, perhaps you could ask her to meet you for a coffee because certain topics are always better discussed in person rather than leaving any space for assumptions over text. Of course, you should give her a heads-up if it’s a ‘yes’ from you. Otherwise, there’s no point in meeting just to break her heart.
If you don’t have any feelings for her, make that clear from the very beginning rather than keeping her hanging on the hook. If you see a relationship shaping and it makes you happy, tell her honestly how you feel.
If she is not interested, she would take a long time to reply to each one of your texts. The frequency of brief or one/two-word texts will be higher because she doesn’t enjoy talking to you.