How To Know If A Girl Likes You Over Text – 21 Subtle Signs

Single Life | | , Editor-in-Chief
Reviewed By , Psychologist
Updated On: December 27, 2023
How to know if a girl likes you over texts

The signs a girl likes you over text are often hard to spot, which leaves you trapped in a perennial dilemma over whether or not you should make a move and ask her out. The fact that you’re here, trying to figure out how to know if a girl likes you over text, suggests that you know you know exactly what we’re talking about. You’re in that curious place where one moment it seems as if she’s fallen for you head over heels and the next, everything seems casual – as if this text she just sent you could have been for any of her buddies, coworkers, classmates, even siblings.

You’re left wondering, “Is she being polite or interested?” We know how hard it can be to make sense of a girl’s feelings over text when so many of you can’t even decode them in person. But you can always look out for tell-tale signs she loves you deeply over text. Today, we’re going to help you spot them so you know whether you should make the first move or not.

How To Know If A Girl Likes You Over Text – 21 Subtle Signs

As smartphones become an integral part of our lives, the ‘texting phase’ has become a precursor of sorts to actual dating. Particularly, for the generation of digital natives who’re coming of age just about now. Whether you connect on a dating site, on social media, through friends, at work, or the good ol’ fashioned meeting in a bar, texting is the first step in getting to know each other.

As you keep exchanging texts back and forth, the “Is she being polite or interested?” question is bound to crop up. That’s why it’s vital to figure out how to know if a girl likes you over text. Responding to this question, a Reddit user says, “Well, if she actually puts some effort into the conversation, that’s a start. If the responses take too long, are low effort, and feel lazy then she’s not feeling it.”

For more such expert videos subscribe to our YouTube channel

Another Reddit user, who got rejected by their crush twice even though they thought they saw the signs she likes them back, says, “My best advice would be to just ask her what her feelings are, or just go ahead and ask her out.” Even so, you may find yourself stuck in the “to ask or not to ask” dilemma and agonizing over how she really feels about you. If you need some clarity about where she stands so that you can muster up the courage to finally ask her out, pay attention to these 21 subtle signs a girl likes you over text:

Related Reading: 8 Rules Of Texting While Dating

1. She initiates meaningful conversations

When you first started interacting, chances are that you were the one taking the lead. She only responded when you reached out. Once she develops feelings for you, that dynamic is bound to change. A classic sign that a girl is showing interest is that she starts initiating conversations with you and your interactions become more meaningful. Pay attention and see if,

  • She sends you funny memes throughout the day (that’s a bit of Gen-Z flirting happening right there)
  • Your DMs are filled with funny videos from her
  • She tries to come up with witty responses to even the most routine texts
  • She shares details about her personal life with you
  • She asks you questions about your life that lead to deep conversations
  • She no longer responds to your texts with dry, one-word answers

Instead, you’ll sense that she seems excited to talk to you and wants to keep the conversation going, which is why she is putting in all this effort. This can be an important tell-tale sign of her interest, particularly when a shy girl likes you over text. On the other hand, if she never initiates conversation and there are days when you’re left wondering, “Why is she not texting back?”, it could be her way of letting you know that it’s time to stop texting and move on.

2. She texts you for no reason at all

Pay attention to the context of her messages. Yup, that is important too. If she is interested, she might start double-texting you. And the frequency of these texts might actually surprise you. She is not worried about coming across as needy or clingy or doesn’t care that she is the one to text first. Being able to talk to you is all that matters to her.

This is especially encouraging if you’re looking for signs an introvert girl likes you over text because they’re generally wary of showing vulnerability. If the shy girl you’re crushing on has been making an effort to stay in touch, it’s near-certain that she likes you. Though these are not exactly signs of flirting from a girl over text, these are the sort of texts you can expect if she texts you for no reason:

  • What you doing right now?
  • Ssup?
  • What have you been up to?
  • What’s going on?
shy girl likes you over text
Pay attention to the context of her messages

3. She messages you a lot

It can be particularly hard to decipher if a shy girl likes you over text because her innuendos can be extremely veiled. So pay attention to this significant change in her texting patterns – if she starts messaging you a lot and very frequently, you can be fairly certain of feelings blossoming on her side.

When a shy girl has a crush on you over text, she won’t exactly say it out loud to you so easily but will make it obvious in other ways. If she’s sending you good morning messages, good night texts, and the casual “How was your day at work today?”, boy, something is definitely cooking. A good sign that she’s into you is if she’s texting you things like:

  • What you up to? Super bored. Talk to me
  • Have you seen the new episode yet?
  • How did your presentation go?

Related Reading: 15 Unwritten Rules Of Dating We All Should Follow

4. She keeps the conversation flowing

How to know if a girl is interested in you through WhatsApp or Snapchat or whatever your preferred texting platform is? See if she makes an effort to keep the conversation flowing. When a girl develops feelings for you, she just can’t get enough of you. Even if it means that she has to put in a lot of effort and make time to chat with you or think of new things to talk about.

So even if you respond to her messages with “hmm” or monosyllables or just laughing emojis, she’d still make an effort to keep the conversation alive because she loves to spend time with you, even if it is virtually. Here is what it may look like:

  • You: Hmm
  • She: You know, I recently watched this WW2 film. It was fantastic! Have you watched The Forgotten Battle?
  • You: Yeah, I know about it.
  • She: Nice, what did you have for dinner?

Word of advice: Don’t let these conversation signs she likes you go to your head and start playing games to get her to chase you. Unless you’re genuinely busy or preoccupied, reciprocate her efforts if you want to take things to the next level.

5. She texts you at odd hours

How to know a girl loves you through chatting? Apart from decoding her text messages, you need to start paying attention to when she texts you and how promptly she responds to every text message you send. If she replies to your texts at the oddest hours and even initiates conversations late at night, there is little room for contention about her feelings for you. She is up at night, unable to sleep. And you’re on her mind even at that hour.

If that doesn’t scream, “I’m smitten”, we don’t know what does. Given the modern-day 9-5 lifestyles and crazy schedules, no one really has the luxury to be up discussing Star Wars with you at 2 a.m. If she’s doing that, consider yourself lucky. Because this is one of the signs she is developing feelings over text.

6. She can chat with you all night

How to know if a girl likes you but is hiding it? Well, if she keeps the conversation going till the wee hours of the morning, she’s letting you know that she enjoys talking to you. It doesn’t matter whether she has an early morning the next day, a big presentation at work, or an assignment to submit at school.

She enjoys her interaction with you so much that she is ready to sacrifice her sleep and power through the next day. After all, it’s those conversations after 2 a.m. that really get things off the ground. If these late-night chats are a regular occurrence and spending every Saturday night texting back and forth has become the norm, sooner or later, you’re bound to see a few signs of flirting from a girl over text.

Related Reading: 21 Dos And Don’ts When Starting A New Relationship

7. She starts throwing emojis in the mix

When emotions are at play, people often fall short of words. If this girl you’re chatting with a lot suddenly starts using a lot of flirty emojis in her conversations, take it as a positive sign. Emojis are the weapon of choice of a girl flirting over text. Her messages to you may look something like this:

  • Hey there?How was your meeting today?
  • Aww, thanks so much sweetie?I really appreciate this
  • Someone is looking gorgeous in their DP ?

8. She sends you long messages

Another one of the clearest signs she’s into you but is holding off taking things forward for some reason is the length of her texts. Those long messages are a clear indicator that she wants you to know her better. And vice versa. She’s seeking an emotional connection with you which is why she puts the effort into typing out longer messages. And when you share something personal or talk about a problem you are facing, she’d ponder over it and come back with a thoughtful, considerate response. This is one of the obvious signs she is developing feelings over text.

Stories about dating

9. You both know each other’s routines by now

How to know if a girl likes you over text? Answer this: Has texting back and forth become an integral part of your lives? Does she text you in the middle of the day to ask what you’re doing or whether you’ve had lunch yet? Does she check in with you about an important meeting you had scheduled for the day? Does she know your daily routine inside out now? Also, does she share similar frequent updates of her day with you?

If you’ve answered all of these questions in the affirmative, you can say with certainty that this shy girl has a crush on you over text. In fact, your equation has already entered into unofficial relationship territory. A ‘textationship’, if you will. The point is, you know what the other is doing every hour of the day, and you both love it. When this happens, you may be sending messages like these to each other:

  • Done with your mid-day nap yet?
  • You must’ve worked out by now, right? How was it?
  • Aren’t you late for football?
  • I know you’re going to be busy with assignments at this hour, so text me once you’re done

10. She responds to your texts instantly

Gone are the days when you’d rue, “She takes a long time to text back.” No matter what she is doing or where she is – unless she is on a flight, perhaps, or is asleep – she will always respond to your texts instantly. Even if it is just to say: “In a meeting. TTYL.” Her urge to reply super quickly even if she’s busy in the middle of a meeting is a good sign.

What’s better, she doesn’t even need to make an effort to do this. Once she starts liking you, these instant responses just come with the territory. She likes you which is why she does not want to leave you hanging. Also, this is one of the ways to show you that she prioritizes you. So take the cue, and know that this girl has a crush on you.

11. She tries to get to know you

Not sure how to tell if a woman likes you through text? Is she just being polite or is genuinely interested in you? What do her texts mean? If you’re agonizing over these questions still, assess if she has made an effort to know the real you. Does she ask a lot of questions about your likes and dislikes? Is she intrigued about your past and plans for the future?

One of the clearest signs that she’s into you is if you can answer all those questions we just asked with a resounding “yes”. There’s no reason she’ll spend her precious time trying to know the person you are if she’s not interested in you. You can say she’s interested if she asks you questions like:

  • Where did you grow up?
  • Tell me about yourself, what do you love to do?
  • Why do you like this sort of music?
  • Where do you want to travel?

Related Reading: Dating vs Relationship – 8 Subtle Differences You Never Knew About

12. She invents fun games just to keep chatting

As we said, one of the hallmarks of a girl’s interest in you during the ‘texting phase’ is that she keeps the conversation flowing. To that end, she may come up with games to play via text or add a virtual twist to classics to fill in the gaps when you both run out of things to say.

Has she ever said something like, “Let’s see who knows whom better”? Or initiated a round of Never Have I Ever, perhaps? Yes? Rest easy, my friend, she definitely has the hots for you. And this is her way of letting you know. Take the hint. Not dismissing it as inconsequential becomes even more important if you’re looking for signs an introvert girl likes you over text.

13. Your absence irks her

How to know if she likes you when there haven’t been many long messages or smiley faces coming your way? Take notice of how she reacts if you’re unable to text her or respond to her messages for some reason. It may irk her. While she may not say it in as many words, you can get a sense of it when she subtly seeks an explanation for your absence with messages like these:

  • Someone clearly forgot me today 🙁
  • Where the hell have you been? I was worried sick for two days
  • I missed you today
  • Guess you’re too busy to even say good night

This means she missed having you around. Perhaps even found herself feeling a little insecure, especially if you didn’t intimate her about your unavailability beforehand. Don’t go missing on purpose just to gauge her reaction though. There should be no room for such petty mind games if you hope to take things forward with her.

14. Your texts make her laugh

Let’s talk about one of the obvious signs a woman likes you. Are your conversations punctuated with frequent ‘LOL’, ‘LMAO’, ‘ROFL’, or plain all-caps ‘HAHAHAHAHA’? This is her way of telling you that you make her laugh and that she just genuinely has a great time talking to you over text. Since a great sense of humor is an admirable quality to have in a potential partner, you can read it as a sign that she likes you because you make her happy.

How to know if a girl likes you? Quiz

15. She teases you this is one of the signs a girl likes you over text

When a girl teases you, be it over text or in real life, it usually is a strong sign of her interest in you. She may say something outlandish to elicit an emotional response from you. Or something outright naughty to get you all fired up. She may even give you funny nicknames to laugh a little at your expense. These signs of flirting over text make her intention clear as day. So, if she’s interested, she’d send you texts along these lines:

  • Good morning, Mr. Sleepy Sleeperson. Are you up yet?
  • I dreamed of you last night but I can’t say more 😉
  • Did you miss me at all today?
  • Good night, you! I’ll see you in your dreams

Related Reading: 30 Interesting Questions To Ask A Girl To Know Her Better

16. Her conversations become animated

Most girls typically take a lot of time letting their guard down around someone new. And when they do, you see a new, child-like side to them. So, if her conversations with you have become more and more animated, it’s a strong sign that she’s beginning to develop a deep emotional connection with you.

An example of animated conversations would be using ALL CAPS TO EXPRESS HER DISPLEASURE AT SOMETHING YOU’VE DONE, stretching her words just to sound ‘cuuuuuuuute’, or using baby talk to let you see that there is an ‘adorbs’ side to her too. Her text messages may leave you asking questions like, “What does it mean when a girl says aww to everything you say?” I guess that’s one way to answer your question about how to tell if a woman likes you through text. If she’s interested, her texts may start reading something like this:

  • Heeeeeeey, whatchu up to?
  • Well aren’t you the cuuuuutest?
  • Staahp you’re making me shy!

17. She shares her pictures with you

Wondering if a girl is interested in you through WhatsApp or Snapchat? Hmm, does she ever send photos or videos to show you what’s going on in her day? Because that could indeed mean something more. Now, hold your horses. When we say pictures, we DO NOT mean nudes. This could just be her sending a snap of her coffee cup or even just the sunset that she saw while running in the park.

Now, if a girl sends you pictures of herself, without you even having to ask for them, it means she not only likes you but also trusts you. It also means that she’s excited to share a selfie with you because she knows you’ll appreciate it. As long as it’s not one of those redundant streak snaps that kids these days send about, her sending pictures of her day/outfit/face to you is one the best signs of her interest in you.

girl flirting over text
She not only likes you but also trusts you

18. She starts sharing random stuff with you

How to know a girl loves you through chatting? Well, once you two have established a certain rapport, she may start sharing random stuff with you. Picture of a cute doggo she met in the street, a genuine “woke up like this” photo, memes, playlists, screenshots of her weekly to-do list, and everything else in between.

This means her feelings for you are now beyond just infatuation. She feels comfortable sharing her thoughts and weirdness with you because there is a certain emotional intimacy in your connection. Naturally, she would want to build upon it by finding ways to stay connected with you throughout the day. You might get messages like these from her:

  • Look at this cute baby I saw at the cafe today
  • Isn’t this dog the absolute cutest?
  • The most random thing happened today, want to hear about it?

19. Your interactions seem effortless

Where in the beginning you both needed to put in a significant amount of effort to think of things to talk about and hone your texting skills, your interactions have now become effortlessly smooth. It’s a sign that on some level, she’s started perceiving you as an integral part of her life. Chances are that the attraction is mutual.

Maybe now, instead of “Hey”, she starts her conversation with an, “Ugh I don’t want to cook tonight. What pizza should I order?” And you won’t need to send her follow-up texts or feel embarrassed about triple texting her anymore. If she texts you out of the blue and starts making less effort in being proper and formal, it could be one of the conversation signs she likes you.

Related Reading: Best Dating App Conversation Starters That Work Like A Charm

20. She starts flirting with you

“How to tell if a woman likes you?” you ask. A girl flirting over text is a clear sign of her interest in you. She may flatter you with compliments, drop hints about her interest in you, tease you playfully, or egg you on to take things forward. By this point, you won’t have to worry about trying to figure out how to ask a girl if she likes you without being obvious over text. You might even see her sending you flirty messages like:

  • So, what would you do with me if we went out on a date?
  • You’ve got such a cute smile, I can’t wait to see it in person
  • Are you trying to make me laugh? Well, it’s working
  • You sure do know how to attract women, don’t you?

Once your text interactions reach this stage, there is no reason why you shouldn’t start planning a first date. It is as clear as it can be (without you asking her upfront) that she wants you. So what are you waiting for? Take a leap of faith and ask her out.

21. She graduates to video calls

A girl’s interest in you becomes apparent when she does more than just text you. If she’s comfortable around you, she won’t hesitate to make an occasional video call to talk to you up close and personal. In case a shy woman is into you, she may not be the one to initiate these calls but she’ll definitely accept should you take the initiative. For a shy girl trying to fit in the dating zone, that in itself is a big deal. Many other video and voice calls that she has watched ring but couldn’t bring herself to answer are a testament to the fact.

Key Pointers

  • The most obvious signs of a woman’s interest in you is that she initiates conversations, texts you for no reason sometimes, and pours her heart out in the long messages she sends you
  • She texts you often, even at night 
  • If you feel like she wants to get to know you more, and that you get instant replies from her, it could be a clear sign of her being interested in you
  • If she flirts with you and teases you and sends thoughtfully composed long texts, her interest in you is pretty evident 

Now that you’ve gained clarity on the signs a girl likes you over text, keep a keen eye out for these subtle but clear indications. If you’re paying attention and spot a majority of them in your interactions with a girl you’re interested in, this thing you’ve got going is definitely headed somewhere. Ask her out already!

This article has been updated in December 2022.

FAQs

1. How to ask a girl if she likes you over text?

If you’re strong enough to handle rejection, you could ask her upfront. Otherwise, use these 21 subtle signs to gauge her feelings for you and then plan your next move.

2. How to respond when a girl says she likes you?

Here’s what to do when a girl says she likes you over text. Tell her how you feel about her. If you’re interested too, then that’s great. But if not, it’s better to burst her bubble now (gently) than string her along on false hope for no reason.

3. If a girl says she likes you does she mean it?

In all likelihood, yes. There is no reason that she’d say so unless she means it. Except, of course, if she’s trying to manipulate you for some reason, but the odds of that happening are slim.

4. How do you tell if a girl is playing you?

If she is playing mind games, doing the hot-and-cold dance, or keeping you on tenterhooks without betraying how she feels about you, there is a good chance she is playing you.

5. What to do when a girl says she likes you over text? 

If you too like her, perhaps you could ask her to meet you for a coffee because certain topics are always better discussed in person rather than leaving any space for assumptions over text. Of course, you should give her a heads-up if it’s a ‘yes’ from you. Otherwise, there’s no point in meeting just to break her heart.

6. How to respond when a girl says she likes you over text?

If you don’t have any feelings for her, make that clear from the very beginning rather than keeping her hanging on the hook. If you see a relationship shaping and it makes you happy, tell her honestly how you feel.

7. How to know if a girl is not interested in you through text?

If she is not interested, she would take a long time to reply to each one of your texts. The frequency of brief or one/two-word texts will be higher because she doesn’t enjoy talking to you.

First Date Mistakes To Avoid To Make The Right Impression

8 Steps to Win Over a Girl Who Rejected You

Should I Wait Or Should I Text Him First? The RULEBOOK Of Texting For Girls


Ask Our Expert

Tags: