Men can be confusing at times. They don’t reveal their emotions as women do. They like to play it cool most of the time. However, there will be signs a guy is nervous around you if the guy likes you. There are many reasons that your date is feeling anxious. The simplest one is: they like you a lot and don’t want to mess it up.
This has been proved by a study done on 280 participants. According to the study, people experienced a cluster of anxiety-related physiological and behavioral reactions during an initial encounter with someone they found highly attractive.
Why Would A Guy Be Nervous Around You?
When a man is nervous around a woman but confident and outgoing with others, then there has to be some reason behind it. In most cases, this is because he is attracted to her. Angelina, a barista from New Jersey, shares, “There’s a guy who used to come to the cafe. He looked good and was very self-assured with his friends. But when he came up to order, he was clearly nervous.
“His speech kept faltering. I thought, a confident guy nervous around me, why? Once he went back to his friends, he seemed his usual assertive self again. He messaged me on Instagram that night and asked if I would like to go on a date with him. I realized when a man is nervous around a woman, it’s probably because he has a crush on her and it’s one of the signs a man is pursuing you.”
Below are some of the reasons that a guy could get nervous around women.
1. He finds you intimidating
Gone are the days when women bowed down to men. Women are taking control of their lives and don’t let anybody divert their focus from what they want. So, what makes a guy nervous around a girl? Intimidation. Some men are greatly intimidated by strong, successful, and confident women.
A study reveals what men really think about smart women. It was found that men, while interacting with a woman who is smarter than them, can feel a “momentary shift in their self-evaluation (such as feeling emasculated)”, which leads them to feel less attracted to her.
When asked on Quora about why men are intimidated by women, a user shared, “In my experience men are intimidated by successful, independent women. They are drawn to you because you know who you are, won’t tolerate BS, and can stand on your own. Then they hate you because you know who you are, you’re successful, independent, can stand on your own, and won’t tolerate BS.”
2. He finds you extremely attractive
Men turn into shy school boys when they are attracted to someone. Rhonda, a medical student in her mid-20s, says, “My friend set me up on a blind date once. The man was sweating profusely and refused to meet my eye. He kept looking at his food the entire time. It is one of the biggest turn-offs that spell doom and I never interacted with him again. Later, I found out that he confessed to our mutual friend that he found me insanely attractive and couldn’t keep his emotions in check.”
3. He has social anxiety or a shy nature
Maybe he has social anxiety and doesn’t mingle with people so much. Social anxiety is becoming prevalent and a recent study done in 7 countries found that 1 in 3 (36%) respondents had Social Anxiety Disorder (SAD). If he isn’t so outspoken and not an extrovert, then it’s one of the signs a shy guy is nervous around you. He is nervous because that’s just what he goes through every day, and it has nothing to do with you.
4. He thinks you are judgemental
All of us prefer to see only the good side of ourselves and avoid the bad side. But think about this even if it makes you feel uncomfortable. What makes a guy nervous around women? It’s possible that you are judgmental about him and this throws him off a little.
5. He is hiding something from you
One of the easiest signs to pick up if a guy is hiding something from you is when he acts nervous and fidgety around you. Andrea, a graphic designer from Chicago, says, “My boyfriend is a confident guy but not around me recently. He was constantly on the edge when I was with him. I began to feel suspicious when he changes his passcode. I thought it is one of the signs he is cheating.
“He would stop using his phone as soon as I entered the room and didn’t engage in conversations with me anymore. I broke up with him when I found out he was talking to somebody else.”
15 Signs A Guy Is Nervous Around You
No matter how confident or even self-obsessed a person is, they always tend to get a little nervous when they are with someone they like. Here are the 15 signs a guy is nervous around you.
1. No eye contact
Lack of eye contact can be an indication of various things. He could be hiding something from you. He could be angry with you. He could be feeling low. More importantly, avoiding eye contact is a sign of attraction. He will refuse to meet your gaze in an attempt to mask his feelings for you. You’re making him nervous. You are flirting with your eyes and he is doing the same by deliberately not meeting your gaze. When he avoids eye contact, it’s one of the signs a shy guy is nervous around you.
2. You catch him looking at you
Ever been in a situation where a guy stares at you when you aren’t looking and then immediately averts his gaze when you catch him staring at you? Yeah, that’s one of the signs a guy is nervous around you. He stares at you but he is too shy to greet your gaze. When you catch a guy staring at you, it is mostly because he is attracted to you.
When asked on Reddit what women thought when they catch a guy staring at them, a user shared, “Mostly I am flattered, and if I think he’s cute I’ll maybe say something to him. Sometimes it makes me feel self-conscious, especially if I don’t think I look that good on that particular day.”
3. He fidgets a lot
One of the signs a guy is nervous around you is when he is being restless. He will fidget around you and won’t stay still. It could be because he is attracted to you or because he is hiding something from you. Men can get fidgety when they are guilty of doing something. They might fidget with their food or their words may not be in alignment with their thoughts. Their mind is all over the place and they are trying to suppress their emotions.
Related Reading: The 36 Questions That Lead To Love
4. Silence unsettles him
One of the major signs a guy is nervous around you is when he is bothered by silence. It’s great when you find someone who likes to engage in conversation. But nobody likes an overly chatty person.
Jemimah, a librarian in her early 40s, says, “I enjoy silence. But I met a man who was so eager to prove himself as chill and easygoing that he tried to fill in the silence by speaking about everything. It was so obvious that he was just nervous and wanted to cover it with non-stop words.”
5. He is sweaty
Irrespective of gender, we all tend to sweat under stressful, exciting, and frightening circumstances. Our palms get sweaty when we are around the ones we have a crush on because these glands begin to work harder as our excitement level increases. The next time you are looking for signs a guy is nervous around you, notice if he is sweating profusely. It might be because he really likes you.
6. His body is stiff
When someone is stressed or anxious, it directly impacts their physical features as well. These signs will be reflected in their body and it’s one of the body language signs that he likes you. One of the signs a guy is nervous around you is that he will sit and stand stiffly around you.
7. He keeps touching his face
According to psychologists at the BBC, when we touch certain areas of our face, what we are really doing is calming ourselves. There are specific pressure points on the face that activate the parasympathetic nervous system: the body’s internal coping mechanism.
This can explain why we touch our faces when we are shocked, surprised, stressed, concentrating, worried, or upset. Subconsciously, our body is touching areas of the face – commonly the forehead, chin, and mouth – to soothe anxiety and, therefore, protect us. Anxiety and stress are the common reasons people touch their faces. But it could also mean that the person is lying to you or hiding something. That’s why when a man is nervous around a woman, he will keep touching his face.
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8. He will agree with everything you say
One of the signs a guy is nervous around you is when he agrees with everything you say. There is no retaliation to your opinions. We tend to be on our best behavior with someone we love because we are afraid if we disagree with them, we might end up hurting their sentiments. This is one of the ways to know if a guy secretly loves you.
Joseph, a dating coach in his mid-30s, says, “A confident man who is not a people-pleaser will never agree with everything that someone has to say. He will always offer his valuable two cents in every conversation. But if it’s a woman he really likes, then he becomes nervous and just readily agrees to everything she has to say.”
9. He listens to you attentively
Following on from the previous point, if he is very attentive around you, then it’s one of the signs a shy guy is nervous around you. It’s a known fact that shy guys are great listeners.
Alex, a guitarist from Los Angeles, says, “When a confident guy is nervous around me, he won’t try to dominate the conversation or interrupt me when I am talking. He will listen to my stories and will remember even the tiniest details.”
10. He laughs at everything
In an article titled ‘Why we laugh when we’re nervous or uncomfortable’, it has been stated that laughter has the effect of discharging energy and helping us relax. Joe Nowinski says, “When we laugh at a good joke or a comic routine, we tend to feel more relaxed afterward.
“Nervous laughter serves a similar function, allowing the individual to discharge anxiety and relax a bit.” Similarly, when he laughs at everything you say and do, then it’s one of the signs a guy is nervous around you. It’s a defense mechanism to cope with nervousness.
11. He tries to make you laugh
When he is trying hard to make a woman laugh, it’s one of the biggest signs a guy is nervous around a woman. He will try to make jokes about everything. From the restaurant, you’re dining at to the people sitting next to you. He will try to crack jokes at your expense as well. But that doesn’t mean he intends to be rude. He is just trying to get comfortable with you. It’s one of the signs he wants you to notice him really badly.
When asked on Reddit about the one quality people look for in a partner, a user shared, “A sense of humor is incredibly important to me. I am absolutely attracted to wit and have been in situations before where when a man made me sincerely laugh, it has made him 10x more attractive to me. I am a sucker for comedy, humor, and intelligent/witty writing or banter, so that may just be me.”
12. Subtle signs a guy is nervous around you – He blushes every time he sees you
Blushing is when your face, mostly your cheeks, turn pink or red when you’re embarrassed, self-conscious, or when you have a crush on someone. If the guy you are dating blushes every time he sees you, then it’s one of the signs a shy guy is nervous around you.
It’s a defense mechanism during fight or flight situations. According to The Body Language of Attraction, “When we are attracted to someone, blood will flow to our face, causing our cheeks to get red. This happens to mimic the orgasm effect where we get flushed. It is an evolutionary way the body tries to attract the opposite sex.”
13. He uses a lot of emoticons
There’s a way to spot signs a guy is nervous around you even in text messages. Look at the way he responds to your messages. His response will be quick and he will make sure to use emoticons in every message. There are many emojis guys use when they are in love. It may seem a little childish and immature but he is just trying to cover up his nervousness with emojis.
When asked on Reddit why men use emojis a lot when they are trying to get to know someone, a user replied, “He is just trying to convey tone and mood and wants to keep it casual. It’s difficult for some people to text and they use emojis so their words aren’t misconstrued. I’d be willing to bet that the use of emojis goes down after you’ve met and started to know each other’s personalities.”
14. He asks you a lot of questions
When he asks you a lot of questions and is eager to know everything about you, then it’s one of the signs a guy is nervous around you and is afraid to confess his feelings. He wants to fill the silence with questions. It’s one of the signs he wants to make you his girlfriend.
Rachel, an engineering student from New York, says, “Most guys I dated are very curious to know everything about me during the initial stages of dating. They are so afraid of silence that they think silence is boring. Silence makes them nervous and they end up asking a lot of questions.”
15. He will be hesitant to touch you
A guy who is nervous won’t touch you even if you like him and don’t mind him touching you. He doesn’t want you to have a bad impression of him and hence will not initiate physical contact. He might even quickly withdraw himself if you both unintentionally touch each other. It’s one of the signs a guy is nervous around you because he doesn’t want to offend you or make you feel uncomfortable.
- If a guy is nervous around you, there are chances he finds you intimidating, uses a lot of emoticons on text, and listens to you attentively
- A few signs a guy is nervous around you are when he laughs at everything you say, tries to make you laugh too, and you will catch him looking at you
- One of the prominent signs a guy is nervous around you is that he will blush every time he sees you
Nervousness is a common feeling when we are put in a stressful situation. There’s nothing extraordinary about this as it will go away once the two of you have developed a good bond.