Looking to come back to the world of dating as a single mom but clueless about how to? Or you’re just curious about some tips that might help you get back in the flow, if you know what I mean? *wink* First of all, congratulations on taking the first step. Most people let their hesitations take over. But now that you’re here, we’re going to look at some of the best tips to get you back and running in no time.
It’s bound to happen at some point, right? You want to go out there and meet new people and fall in love again. But it’s challenging as well, and who better than you to know that? But it’s not as complicated as one makes it out to be in their heads, and to avoid any confusion or worry, we will look at tips that shall show you how to date as a single mom.
11 Dating Tips For Single Moms
Dating tips for single mothers might sound a little bizarre to some, but it is the furthest thing from it. Happiness is a choice and so is love. Whether you choose to be happily single or want to find a person to love is all up to you. We’re only going to assist you with some crucial suggestions that shall get you start dating as a single mom in no time.
Trying to build a new romantic partnership while raising a child is hard. It requires striking that delicate balance between your child and the person you are dating. What’s most important is taking that first step, and all else falls into place. All you need to do is brace yourself mentally. Because finding yourself a good partner can be messy, but it’s all worth it in the end. After all, who doesn’t want to laze around on a Sunday afternoon with their partner in the living room?
Then there are questions that might come to your mind such as: How will the children react? What will society say? What about all the past hurt and disappointment? A plethora of dilemmas will weigh on your mind, making the decision to date again that much more complex. The only thing you should remember is that these are your assumptions, not facts.
Here are 11 pieces of dating advice for single moms to ease themselves back into the dating scene. Trust me, it will be a great, rewarding experience to step out of your comfort zone and do something for yourself.
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1. Don’t feel ashamed of your decision to date
The most important dating advice for single moms is to start the journey with self-acceptance. Keep your head high; you are no sinner to have desires that extend beyond motherhood. You should not fear what society thinks or what your ex or relatives might say. You have to feel okay about finding happiness in your new relationship.
You should be very positive about the fact that you’re dating because not a lot of single mothers have the courage to admit the need for a partner, but you are brave enough to take another chance. By first admitting that you do need a partner, it becomes easier for you to work on that need, and hopefully and gradually, find a caring and loving person. Dating a single mom might still be a taboo for some, but by far, it’s very common and natural for women with children to go back into the dating scene for a partner.
2. If your children are grown up, talk to them first
If your child is not a toddler but grown enough to understand, you must talk to them about your decision to start dating again. You may think it is a bad idea, but by doing this, you will be more relaxed and comfortable with your dating journey. It’s because the biggest fear of single mothers is what their children might think about them rekindling their love life. When learning how to date as a single mom, being open and honest is one of the primary things to understand.
You especially need to keep your children in the loop if you are dating a single dad and committed to him so that they know that there is a possibility of step-siblings coming into their life. You need to assure them that even if you are dating someone, you will not ignore your responsibilities toward them and the time you spend together will not be taken away. Your children only want your attention and time, but they never demand all of it.
If you have a toddler, most of your time will be consumed in taking care of them. In that case, do not feel guilty about hiring some help to take care of your child when you go out on a date. While the child remains a priority in your life, it doesn’t mean that you can’t take care of your wants and needs as well. Dating as a single mom can be hard, but it’s worth finding a partner to spend some quality time with and share your needs and troubles with.
3. Take dating seriously
If you want to start dating, you’ll obviously need to make time for it in your already busy home and work life. Until you invest some time into dating, you might not find the right person. Merely deciding that you want to date again is not going to work. If dating a single mom is not something prevalent in the community near you, you can always sign up on dating apps.
It is also equally important that you don’t become lax once you’ve found someone new and developed a good bond with them. You don’t want to find someone nice and caring only to lose them because of negligence on your part. Make sure you keep carving out time for your new partner and the budding relationship. Don’t fret about this now though, because balancing is an art inherent to all women. If they are worth the time, you will find ways to fit them into your hectic life.
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4. Don’t lie about having kids or your relationship with your ex
One of the most important dating tips for single moms is to be honest throughout the process. It is the recipe for any healthy and strong relationship. Even if you have been on a couple of dates and are unsure about the direction you are heading, be honest about having kids.
Otherwise, you will have to keep ready a bucketful of lies and excuses next time when you have to cancel a date or reschedule according to the needs of your child. Be open about the kind of relationship you have with your ex-partner or the father of your child. They have the right to know the complexity of the relationship they might be entering into. This is why honesty is one of the most important single mom dating tips as this is the only way to cultivate harmony in a relationship.
You are a single mother and it is not easy to be one. It is something you should boast about to everyone, and not hide from answering questions about your past. Dating single mothers might not be something everyone would want to go ahead with, but it will at least reduce complications in your life by helping you avoid such people.
5. Don’t waste your time with guys who want to fool around
You may not want to be in a relationship that ends up in marriage, but you also don’t want a relationship where everything is too casual, where you don’t find emotional comfort but only sexual satisfaction. You may enjoy it initially, but in the long term, such relationships will bring you nothing more than a sense of emptiness. Unless you’re specifically looking for a short-term, casual relationship with no expectations, such relationships at this stage of life might leave you with more pain than joy.
Don’t go after the guys who want to play around. Use your judgment to filter the people around you. You are mature enough to find someone with whom you can build a meaningful connection. The games your child plays should probably be enough entertainment for you. You don’t need a partner who does the same and makes the relationship between you two a cruel game. Be upfront in asking if dating single mothers is an issue for them, and if so, avoid them altogether.
You have to also remember that your partner will meet your kids at some stage too, and you don’t want someone in your life who’s not understanding and accepting of your family.
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6. Don’t scare them by rushing them to meet your kids
You are seeing someone and it has only been a few dates. Everybody who you meet shouldn’t meet your children. It may scare your dates as it may be too soon and ruin your potential relationship chances. Besides, it might not be a good idea to bring someone new into your child’s life before you’re sure about your future with them. One of the key single mom dating tips is to be cautious about who you introduce your children to and when.
You need to be at least sure you two have a future together and that they fully understand your situation and the responsibilities that come with it. Your date might not be sure about dating single mothers but maybe they like/love you enough for it to not be an issue after a while. Maybe they’ll be more willing to accept the responsibility of having kids after spending more time with you. In such cases, introducing them to your kids might put them off at an early stage and you might lose a valuable person.
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Children from single-parent homes are emotionally more vulnerable, so you must think this through before making the decision to involve your new boo in your child’s life. You have to understand that even the right choice made at the wrong time can backfire badly which is why you must make your decisions carefully.
7. Don’t expect them to share the responsibility of kids
Your kids are your responsibility and you dating someone does not mean you have found a partner to share the responsibility for kids. Dating as a single mom is often done by women to find emotional comfort. At some point, your new partner might volunteer to share your responsibility, but that is a decision for them to make and not you. That is also something that you two have to decide over time. Ask yourself, do you want a dating life that’s entirely separated from your life with your children?
If you start expecting your partner to contribute toward the upbringing of the kids and this person hasn’t even been inside your comfort zone yet, then you might be putting a lot of unnecessary pressure on your relationship. Have realistic expectations and do not jump the gun. Take things slow and you might just find the perfect partner for yourself out there. An important thing to understand about single mom dating is to take your sweet time. You’ll get there eventually.
8. Try to explore the person you are dating
Here is some very important advice for dating as a single mom. You do not have to compare the person you are seeing to the father of your child. Don’t look for similar flaws or find any common good habits. You have to focus on your present and understand that the father of your child and your present partner are two different persons. If you keep comparing them every moment, you may never appreciate them for who they are.
Dating someone does not mean you are prioritizing your desires over motherhood. If you are dating someone, it just means you are balancing your personal desires with parenthood. So, don’t let this guilt or anxiety affect your exploration of your partner. You may think that the world will care about your decisions but it might not bother at all. Stop overthinking and enjoy every moment of your life. Single mother dating, if done carefully and cautiously, can be a very fulfilling experience that would help bring joy and love into your life.
9. Chart your hopes and expectations
When you’re out there as a single mom dating other people, you have to understand what you want from your partner in terms of yourself and your family. Unless you just want to find a casual relationship, you have to keep in mind what kind of a family is it that you wish to create. And you should express those hopes to the person who you’re looking to date regularly.
When trying to figure out how to date as a single mom, it’s necessary to create some healthy boundaries while also mapping out your expectations from a relationship. Do you want a romantic partner to take care of your emotional needs for some time? Do you want a partner who can become your family? Do you want some thrill and passion in your life and that’s the reason you wish to start dating as a single mom? Figure you what your priorities are and be upfront about them.
10. Interact via other channels first
One of the downsides of single mother dating is that you have limited time on any given day. So you don’t have the liberty to date several partners and try out options like others. One easy way to prevent this is by talking with them on phone or chatting with them over social media channels for some time before you decide to meet them. This will also give you a better idea of the kind of person you’re meeting and whether you’re compatible with them or not.
Even talking on the phone can be a good way to test your future dates if you don’t have the time to create an online relationship before meeting in real life. Not everyone’s comfortable with dating a single mother, hence, talking with them beforehand prevents any confusion and doubts in the first place. You also save lots of precious time and energy by filtering out your potential dates this way.
11. Be cool and brave
Some people might think that just because you’re a single mother, you’re probably desperate for any kind of a relationship. That’s simply not true. Dating a single mother is just the same as dating someone who doesn’t have children and you shouldn’t compromise for the mere fact that you have children of your own. Having children doesn’t mean that you give up on your hopes and expectations.
The rules for dating a single mom is the same as the rules for dating any woman, and if your partner is too uncomfortable with you having children, it’s better to end that relationship there and then. Don’t be shy of the fact that you’re a mother. Rather flaunt it and be proud of it and the rest will follow!
Dating Apps That Single Moms Can Use For Dating
There are plenty of apps out there for single moms to employ and find partners for themselves. Dating as a single mom can be hard if you restrict yourself to the people in your vicinity, but with these apps, you can explore far and wide. Not only do a lot of them offer compatibility tests to find you a better match for yourself, but they also help in putting your true self out there so you can find love in your life again. That being said, below is a list of single mom dating apps that you can explore for yourself:
It is never a bad idea to give yourself a second chance, even if you are drowning in the responsibility of kids or the memories of bitter experiences. Take a deep breath and before the valid needs of your heart starts getting on your nerves, change the monotony of your life. Use these dating tips for single moms and give yourself a chance to be happier.
It is tough for them. They have been so preoccupied with their children that it takes them a while to make room for someone else in their life. But over time, they figure out a way to understand what they really like, who they really want, and eventually land in a good relationship.
Single moms are great at scheduling and multitasking. With kids and work, they are already superwomen. If they are truly interested in someone, they will find a way to make the time for that person.
Absolutely not. It can be a beautiful experience to get to know a woman who is mature and going through something lovely in her life like raising children. It may take a little more care or understanding on your part but it is far from a bad idea.
It can be hard finding a partner for single moms because of their priorities, age, and opportunities. But that shouldn’t hold you from dating because how would you ever know what can happen until you try it? Why kill the possibility for something wonderful to happen without even putting yourself out there? There are a number of options for you to choose from, so don’t restrain yourself.
It’s a great idea to date a single mom. For one, mothers tend to be more patient and caring and having those qualities in a partner is a beautiful thing to have. Moreover, if a single mom makes time for you, it means she really cares for you and cherishes the relationship she shares with you. It also means that what you have is probably more meaningful.
It depends on the type of person you’re dating. But generally, a single mom would look for a partner who’s understanding of her time, emotions, and priorities, while also being reliable. There are no rules for dating a single mom except that you should respect her time and energy because she has other priorities in her life as well.