Can a married woman be attracted to you? Well, complicated are the matters of the heart. When a person develops feelings for another, societal constructs of marriage and monogamy can fast become irrelevant. So, the possibility that a married woman is in love with you isn’t far-fetched.
But this possibility can leave you feeling conflicted and raise a host of questions. What are the signs that a married woman is attracted to you? How do you differentiate between friendliness and attraction? And most importantly, what should you do in such a situation?
If you have such a woman in your life and are confused about what she feels for you, learning to read between the lines may help put your dilemma to rest. Let’s decode the signs an older married woman likes you and what attracts a married woman to another man!
What Attracts A Married Woman To Another Man
A coworker, an old flame, a friend’s wife, a friend – a married woman can become a part of your social life or even your inner circle in myriad ways. Sometimes, you hit it off with each other and a surprising comfort level and chemistry take hold. But are you sure that this connection between you two is platonic? Do you get a vibe from her that suggests that she may like you more than a friend?
Perhaps you too are excited about having her around. She is beautiful, funny, and there is no way you couldn’t have noticed how she laughs. And when you are around, you might have caught her blushing. She has a spouse by her side and yet you feel she is gravitating toward you. Can this mean that this married woman has a crush on you? But, “She’s married,” you think to yourself, wondering, “Is it even possible for her to develop feelings for you? If so, what attracts a married woman to another man?
Before we look at the signs of a married woman in love with another man, let’s explore where these feelings may be stemming from. More often than not, at the core of such attraction are her unmet needs in her primary relationship. But there can be other factors at play as well. Here are the top reasons why a woman may fall for another man despite being married:
- She doesn’t feel loved and appreciated by her husband
- The connection she shares with you seems fresh and exciting in comparison to the boredom and complacency in her marriage
- If you think there are signs a married woman is sexually attracted to you, lack of intimacy or unmet sexual needs in her primary relationship could be why she’s drawn to you
- She is overwhelmed by the demands of her marriage and domestic responsibilities, and being with you provides her the perfect escape from her reality. This may make her want to spend time with you as often as possible, and in turn, lead to her getting emotionally attached to you
- She is drawn to your attitude, communication style, sense of humor – or just your overall personality
- When a married woman falls in love with you, it could be because she has been lonely in her marriage for far too long and you provide her with a connection and intimacy that she craves
- Her romantic feelings could also be the result of unhealed emotional wounds that make her subconsciously self-sabotage her relationships or trigger a need for validation from newer sources to feel good about herself. Human psychology works in complex ways and can sometimes insecure attachments and attachment wounds may present themselves as love for another person
- She’s in an unhealthy marriage with a spouse who could be controlling, abusive, manipulative, or struggling with addiction. Any of these issues can make a marriage hard to survive, and she may look for support – a listening ear, a shoulder to lean on. If you’re that source of support for her, it’s not hard to see why she may develop feelings for you
Related Reading: 18 Female Body Language Signs Of Attraction – Decoded Here
20 Ways To Tell If A Married Woman Is In Love With You
Attraction outside of marriage is common and often fleeting. Sometimes the feelings a married woman has toward you can grow intense and she may even fall in love with you. But, even if she does, what does that mean? How to tell if a married woman wants to cheat with you? What are the signs she wants to have an affair with you?
Even if you pick up on subtle hints, being certain that a married woman loves you can still be hard. It’s only natural to feel scared that you may have read her wrong. The thought that you may jeopardize a good friendship by acting on a hunch is also justified. Whether you want to take things forward or take a step back, it is vital to get to the root of her feelings for you. These 20 tell-tale signs that a married woman is in love with you will help you solve the puzzle:
1. She finds reasons to be near you
How do you know if a married woman likes you? One of the most telling indicators is that she wants to spend time with you and savors every moment of it. Whether a married woman likes you at work or a married friend is falling for you, she’d invariably want to be close to you. Given her feelings for you, it’s obvious that she enjoys being with you. You make her feel comfortable, desired, and appreciated and this is what she is seeking.
And this is even easier for her if she is your colleague. One of the signs a married woman coworker is attracted to you is her consistent presence around you. She will do everything in her power to hang around you as often as possible. Be it following you to the open bar at a party or asking for your help on a project or assignment, she will come up with reasons to increase her interactions with you.
2. She makes an effort to see you
How to know if a married woman likes you but is hiding it? Not only does she want to make the most of the time she is with you but also goes above and beyond to be near you. You can pick on the signs a married woman is in love with you if,
- She drops by your place with soup if you take a sick day at work
- She insists on dropping you home after a party
- She asks you to accompany her to the mall
- She invites you to lunch or coffee
Whether it’s a colleague, a friend, a friend’s wife, or your spouse’s friend, if a woman is going to such great lengths just for spending time with you when you know how packed her days are, it’s clear that you have a special place in her heart and her life. All this extra effort she’s making is a clear sign that a married woman is interested in you and that interest goes well beyond fleeting attraction.
Related Reading: Finding Someone Special After Marriage In A Friendship
3. If a married woman is flirting with you, it’s a clear sign she has feelings for you
If you notice that a married woman is flirting with you unabashedly, there is little doubt left that she wants your relationship to develop into something more. Married woman flirting signs can be subtle or overt, including but not limited to:
- Flirting with her eyes – through intense eye contact or winking
- Whispering something in your ear in a sultry tone
- Biting her lips
- Playing with her hair
- Pulling you close
- Making lingering physical contact
- Cracking dirty jokes
- Suggesting intimate encounters
- Sending texts loaded with sexual innuendos or even naughty pictures
These are all signs a married woman is attracted to you. And the more forthright her overtures, the surer you can be that this woman has very strong feelings for you.
4. A tinge of jealousy says a married woman loves you
When a married woman falls in love with you, she will act somewhat possessive or territorial about you. Even though she’s married, she will feel jealous of your romantic/sexual exploits. A married woman who has a crush on you would not be happy about you getting close to someone else. For instance, if a married woman likes you at work and she sees you laughing with another coworker, she may instantly walk over to see what you’re talking about.
Likewise, if you’ve been wondering, “Does my married friend like me?”, casually bring up your online dating escapades. If you can sense a hint of jealousy when she finds out that you have a Tinder profile, you know where it’s stemming from. If seeing you with another woman gets her all riled up, the writing is on the wall. Her feelings for you make her want you all to herself.
5. Her behavior around you changes
If you and this woman have known each other for a long time, you will notice a distinct change in the way she behaves around you. Her behavior, her demeanor, the way she talks to you, the way she dresses up will feel different. Let’s say this woman in question is a friend and you’re a married man yourself but have maintained a good friendship through the years. In the past, perhaps, hanging out meant a double date involving your respective spouses but now she wants to spend quality time with you alone and whenever you get together, she acts like it’s a date.
Likewise, if you have been wrestling with the thought, “I think my friend’s wife wants to sleep with me”, see if she tries to grab your attention whenever you’re around, behaves flirtatiously, and looks for ways and opportunities to bond with you. This change of behavior suggests that she wants you to see her in a different light because of her changing feelings for you. A married woman who likes you would want you to notice her, and she would try to impress you.
6. The nurturing instinct kicks in
The caring instinct will naturally kick in when someone harbors true feelings of love and affection toward another person. Let’s say, this married woman in your life visits your home and starts chiding you for your refrigerator being stocked up with unhealthy, packaged food. The next thing you know, she has spent an entire Sunday afternoon making lasagna for you just because you mentioned in passing that you like it.
Of course, she does it on the pretext of being a good friend who doesn’t want you to die of blocked arteries. But the real reason she is putting in all that effort is her love for you. It’s not that hard decoding a married woman has feelings for you – when a woman brings a man food, it’s an extremely intimate gesture. You just need to notice these small things she does for you.
Related Reading: Body Language And Its Role In Healthy Relationship
7. She wants to know all about your life
Let’s say she is a coworker you share a casual friendship with or a friend’s wife you are on cordial terms with. You both have socialized and hung out together before but the conversation has largely been generic. When she tries to change that dynamic into something more intimate, it’s one of the signs a married woman likes you more than a friend. Here is what it may look like:
- She starts asking a lot of questions about your family, your childhood, your hobbies, likes, dislikes
- She wants to know how you spend your free time and may even suggest activities you can do together
- She takes a genuine interest in your past relationships
- She wants to know what your plans for the future are
All these conversations are her way of developing a meaningful connection. Why else would a married woman show so much interest in your life? Well, one plausible explanation is that this married woman is falling for you.
8. She discusses her marriage with you
Every marriage has its share of problems, irritants, and not-so-pleasant aspects. But women generally prefer not to discuss their personal life and relationship problems, except with the people they are the closest to. If a woman has started opening up with you about her marital issues and liabilities, it is one of the clear signs a woman is unhappy in her marriage and is seeking solace in the bond she has built with you.
The fact that she is sharing her deepest insecurities and problems with you is a sign of how much she has come to value you. She is looking for someone more than a friend in you, and the fact that you are getting bothered by her bad marriage is an indication there is some chemistry there – perhaps, you’re falling for a married woman too. It’s also her way to let you know that there is a possibility of something more between you two. All is not well in her paradise. She seeks something that her marriage is lacking. To her, you’re the person who can give it to her.
9. Her texts to you are suggestive
You can tell whether a married woman likes you through the texts she sends you. To begin with, if you aren’t particularly close and she starts texting you just to chat or ask what you’re up to, take note. This is the first of many signs a married woman wants you to make a move over text. In addition this, you can tell if a married woman likes you through text, if:
- She may also send you good night and morning messages. It’s her way of telling you that you’re the last and first thing on her mind every day
- She starts sending you flirtatious messages
- She starts opening up to you about her married life and issues over text conversations
- She replies promptly to your texts and wants to keep the conversation going
- She wants to know all about your day
- She texts you till late into the night
Related Reading: 12 Things To Know When You Have An Affair With A Married Woman
10. A married woman attracted to you will talk about intimacy
How to know if a married woman is attracted to you sexually? When a married woman wants to sleep with you, you will find her adding erotic innuendos to every conversation. She may ask you about your experiences in the sack or share hers. Or she may crack dirty jokes with you. If you’re close or she finds you reciprocating, she may even start discussing fantasies with you.
She may tell you how she imagines being loved and where she would want to have a romantic encounter, painting a vivid picture that builds up your desire to be with her. This way, she gauges your fantasies and if things do happen, she knows exactly how to go about them. This is one of the tell-tale signs a married woman is in love with you and is egging you on to make a move.
11. You see her seductive side
Seductive overtures are another way you can tell that a married woman wants to sleep with you. She may give you lustful “I want you” looks. You’d notice that her body language is open and inviting. If she feels these physical signs a married woman is interested in you aren’t enough to get over your inhibitions, she may even make the first move.
She may touch you in ways that get you all tingly and excited. For instance, rubbing your neck and shoulders on the pretext that you look tired after a long day. Or brushing her body against yours during a casual dance, away from the stares of people. Accidental touches here and there? A concrete sign a married woman wants you badly. You may even notice that she dresses up more sensuously, especially when there is a possibility of her being alone with you. Well, that says it all.
Related Reading: 17 Characteristics Of A Cheating Woman
12. She keeps track of your love life
If you’re dating someone else, she talks to you about your relationship often. And may even make subtle attempts to find out if there are any problems between you and your partner. As an ‘experienced’ friend and confidante, she will generously offer her advice. Pay attention, and you will notice that this advice is often about prioritizing yourself over a relationship.
She disapproves of you making any adjustments or compromises in the relationship because her hopes are pinned on having you all to herself. If you’re single, she asks you about any love interests and keeps close tabs on how your dates go. You may even find her discouraging you from going on a second date with someone or asking you to turn down a potential match because she doesn’t think they are right for you.
13. She jokes about being with you
You can tell that a married woman is in love with you if she tries to gauge your reaction to the possibility of you being together in hypotheticals and jokes.
- She says she would have married you in a heartbeat had you come into her life sooner
- She tells you that she has feelings for you and then brushes it off as a joke
- She may say that she dreamed about you and her on an exotic beach holiday
- Or ask you if you’ve wondered what being with her would feel like
There can be two reasons behind this – either she is trying to assess how you feel before expressing her feelings for you, or it is one of the signs a married woman wants you to make a move. Either way, the possibility of something more brewing between you two makes her feel good and she wants you to know she’s open to it despite being in a committed relationship.
14. When a married woman says she misses you
When a married woman says she misses you, there is little doubt left about her feelings for you. Let’s say, she hasn’t been able to see you or speak to you for some days owing to family commitments, work pressure, or your unavailability. When you do speak to her or see her next, she impulsively blurts out that she has missed you sorely.
It is clear as day that you’re important to her and she values your companionship. Her days are not complete without talking to you. When your absence bothers her and being with you instantly puts her in a good mood, it’s one of the clearest signs a married woman is attracted to you.
15. She lies to her husband to be with you
The signs of a married woman in love with another man become apparent when she lies to her spouse about her whereabouts to be with you. Frank, a reader from Nigeria, had been observing for quite some time that whenever he was out with his friend, Elsie, she would make up stories to avoid telling him who she really was with.
“Honey, I am at Sophie’s. It will get late tonight, so I may stay back.” “I’m out for a team lunch and we are stuck here in a long queue.” This led Frank to wonder, “Why does she feel uncomfortable telling her husband she’s with me? After all, I’m her best friend and it’s not unusual for us to hang out.” It was only then that he started paying more attention to her behavior, her body language, and the way she spoke to him, and came to the realization that his married friend was falling for him.
16. Long, secretive phone calls
Another tell-tale sign that a married woman is in love with you is her desire to stay engaged in a conversation with you. To make this happen, she won’t even mind sneaking out of her bedroom and talking to you secretively, often in hushed tones. She looks forward to it because it gives her a rush and excitement that she probably hasn’t experienced in a long time. You can sense how important these calls become to her by the disappointment in her voice if you tell her that you’re unavailable for some reason.
Related Reading: 10 Signs And Feelings That Indicate She Is In Love With You
17. She fishes for compliments
She is beautiful – with or without makeup, even in her baggy shirts and trousers – there’s no doubt about that. But when she catches feeling for you, you will notice that she starts going all-out in dressing to impress just to get a “Daammnn!” out of you. It will render you speechless to see her in a plunging neckline or wearing a seductive fragrance. And that was exactly her intention – to hypnotize you in such a way that your eyes get fixed on her. You can’t help showering her with compliments, can you? If you’ve been wondering how to know if a married woman is attracted to you sexually, this is a pretty clear giveaway.
18. She remembers every little detail
Another one of the signs a married woman likes you more than a friend is that she knows you like the back of her hand. She knows your guilty pleasure food is Doritos, she teases you because you cried three times watching Toy Story 3, and she even brings you corndogs on the days your favorite baseball team is playing.
As magical as it sounds, do you ever wonder how she knows you so well? Because she truly listens and pays attention to everything you say. When a married woman stares at you during a conversation, it’s not only a sign of attraction but also a thoughtful gesture that she pays heed to what’s important to you and cares enough to show that through her actions.
19. You will notice a change in her voice
How to know if a married woman likes you but is hiding it? Well, she may not be so explicit about her feelings but you can totally assess that from the modulations in her voice. In fact, it will be a different tone and pitch in different scenarios. For instance, when you have company, she would take a casual conversational tone, a bit playful maybe. But the moment you two are all alone, it might turn into a deep and seductive voice. There’s your cue that she is crazy about you. Catch on!
20. Your sense of humor is a big hit with her
Hey, are you really that funny or she just thinks you’re because she’s smitten? Say, you’re in a group setting and you crack a super lame joke and she’s the only one who laughs. What does it tell you? Not sure? Well, happy to break it to you that this is one of the lesser-known married woman flirting signs. She laughs at the silliest, corniest jokes you crack because her mood is automatically uplifted in your presence and she wants you to know only you can make her feel this way.
How To Deal With A Married Woman In Love With You
The signs are all there. You know she loves you. The question is, what next? In every conceivable scenario, this is a complicated situation you have at your hands. If it’s a married coworker in love with you, one wrong move can cost you your job and prove detrimental to your career. Likewise, if it’s a long-time friend or a friend’s wife, or your wife’s friend who has feelings for you, some important relationships in your life might be at stake. So, it’s important to choose your next steps cautiously. Here are the options available to you, depending on how you feel:
If you don’t feel the same way about her
Remember, it’s not a casual fling or a fleeting hookup we’re talking about (although cheating is cheating, irrespective of its nature), this woman is in love with you. So, if you don’t feel the same way about her, don’t lead her on just so you can get a boost from thinking, “I slept with a married woman.” Instead,
- Talk to her about what you’ve been noticing and ask if your assessment is correct
- If she admits to her feelings, respectfully tell her that you don’t feel the same way about her
- Reassure her that you respect her feelings and she doesn’t have to worry about this ever getting out
- Depending on your current relationship with her, tell her you’ll be there for her the way you’ve been or that you’d appreciate if you both maintained some distance and respected each other’s boundaries
If you feel the same way about her
Now this is where things get tricky. If you’re falling for a married woman or already have feelings for her, knowing that she feels the same way can be temptation enough to take things to the next level. But, I urge you to slow down and really think this through,
- What is the future of this relationship?
- Is this woman prepared to walk away from her marriage to build a life with you?
- Are you on the same page about what the future looks like for you both?
- The “I slept with a married woman” realization can fill you with frustration and guilt when you’re emotionally invested and have to live with the fact that she is someone else’s life partner. Are you prepared to handle the emotional turmoil?
- If you’re married too, have you thought about the consequences of an affair when both partners are married?
Talk to her and discuss these nuances in detail, over and over again if you need to, before you decide how to deal with this situation.
- A married woman may fall in love with another man because her needs are not met in her primary relationship, she feels a connection with him, or due to unhealed emotional wounds
- From yearning to spend time with you to trying to grab your attention, taking a keen interest in your life, being vulnerable with, there are myriad ways a woman’s feelings may manifest despite her being married
- Exciting as it may be, don’t act impulsively when you realize that a married woman has fallen in love with you
- If you don’t feel the same way, don’t hesitate to tell her so, respectfully and politely. If you do feel the same way, tread with caution. Affairs have a way of getting messy
Now that you know how to tell if a married woman is in love with you, the next step is to decide what you want to do about her feelings. If you feel the same way too, the temptation to take your relationship to the next level can be compelling. But be warned that an extramarital affair with a woman can get messy quickly. You risk hurting a lot of people in the process. Often, the lover is the one that gets left behind. While the choice is ultimately yours, you must weigh the pros and cons before making your next move.
Biting her lips, playing with her hair, pulling you close, and making lingering physical contact are all signs of flirting. She may also be more forthright in her overtures – cracking dirty jokes, suggesting intimate encounters, sending your loaded text messages, or even naughty pictures.
She starts spending more time with you, gives you her undivided attention, and goes out of her way to do things for you. You will get to see the caring, affectionate side of her who often spends her time cooking your favorite dishes or buying you plenty of gifts.
She makes erotic innuendos, shares her intimate experiences and fantasies with you, and asks you a lot of questions about your likes and dislikes in bed.
She tries to seduce you through her words or touch. She will look for opportunities to touch you in places in such a way that will run a current through your body. And her voice changes into a seductive tone when she is trying to play with your erotic fantasies.
You can either reciprocate and take the relationship forward or take a step back by letting her know you’re not interested. Just watch out for both the positive and negative consequences that might come along with this extramarital affair.