What’s the big deal about masturbation?

Amogha Sharma
swara bhaskar in mastrubation

(As told to Amogha)
(Names changed to protect identities)

We do it in India, too!

Emma Watson openly spoke about the website omgyes.com and proclaimed she was a subscriber there. We have read several surveys about female masturbation and there is sufficient evidence to indicate that it is no longer a topic under wraps. Tokyo has a female masturbation bar and recently in Germany, students organised a limited-seat masturbation workshop.

Closer home, in the movie Veere di Wedding, the masturbation scene puzzled me the most. Her husband discovers her using a vibrator and that becomes a reason for his anger and their separation.

This has been a taboo topic for long, but today self-pleasure is prescribed by science and medicine as being beneficial to health. Hollywood movies depicted masturbation as one of the many morning routines by the protagonist. According to studies, for women, whether they had frequent sex or not, the odds of masturbation were similar and it played a complementary role to sex.

I could not understand why her husband would find it offensive, especially because my boyfriend introduced me to masturbation in the first place. Praveen, my college boyfriend, didn’t believe in foreplay. Within the first few dates he sensed my green light on going to the next base and he introduced me to pleasuring myself.

Related reading: Top reasons why all women, whether married or not, must masturbate

There were things I could do

I was not really a virgin where masturbation is concerned. I knew that when I lay on my stomach, gave the right pressure down under and clenched my thighs in rhythm I could experience a sensation that was pleasurable. Table edges and showerheads were the next best things for the purpose. Moving buses were my undoing, because I had no way to satisfy the urge in a public place. So when my roommate Poonam explicitly told me to try using my fingers to stimulate myself, I was tempted to try it. I needn’t have bothered, because Praveen showed me how to do it in the next few days.

sexy women

Representative Image source

Yes, so far it was my guilty pleasure, something I would never ever share with my friends or cousins; until my boyfriend participated in the activity with me and made it a secret between two. I believed this was a purely sexual act, until one day, as I was feeling extremely stressed and restless regarding my exams, I decided to try pleasuring myself. It was intuitive I vividly recall, not something I had been planning to do, and it was as if my fingers found their way to my crotch and I felt the tension drain away slowly but surely. Tentatively, I used my fingers to feel around the inside and there it was. The familiar happy feeling.

It took me a while and a few more sessions to get perfectly tuned to my body; however, I managed to give myself a mind-blowing orgasm that time and every other time, unless rudely interrupted of course. Well, I fell asleep soon after, because it relaxed me immensely. After that, I knew better when Praveen did the same to me.

Just as relaxing as reading a book

Apparently, toe curling climaxes physically and emotionally exhaust the body and one experiences the same soporific and relaxing effect that reading a book in bed gives.
The best part about self-induced orgasms is that it kept the juices flowing even when I was between boyfriends.

The best part about self-induced orgasms is that it kept the juices flowing even when I was between boyfriends.

And thankfully, all of them loved satisfying me and it involved more than penetrative sex. Masturbation is the safest form of sex and there is absolutely no danger of an unwanted pregnancy. Moreover, multiple orgasms are not uncommon during masturbation.

Sanjay, my second boyfriend, would treat my masturbation sessions like a show. He marvelled at the number of orgasms I could get in a day and never failed to tell me that I was the best in the business when he compared me to his past girlfriends. He was in tune with my body and could sense when I was about to climax. I suppose I was the closest to him, because he never censured me for this. I have done it in his car as he drove on the highway, I have done it as we browsed in the private booth of an Internet café filling job applications and I have done it on my office chair as I felt frisky one night as we sat together coding a program.

Related reading: My girlfriend is into sex toys and masturbation and this is how it helps our relationship

You don’t need a man, although…

Masturbation balances levels of oxytocin, cortisol and oestrogen.

Today, I am 50, single, and fit as far as sexual health is concerned. I am certain that I do not need to have a man to pleasure me. Sex is not the reason for me to have a partner; however, I do agree that masturbation is like a party of one. It sometimes makes me feel terribly lonely and I wish I had the right physical and emotional support as I climax. However, masturbation is like a homecoming to my body and my favourite relaxation mantra.

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Aditi Mishra
Aditi Mishra July 8, 2018 - 11:57 pm

I think that there are some things that women pronounce on themselves.. Come forward and speak that I MASTURBATE.. I WATCH PORN.. Now what?? Am I a bad girl.. Cool.. PEACE

Shiv Joshi
Shiv Joshi July 7, 2018 - 10:37 am

You’ve touched upon a very relevant topic.Why is it okay for it to be common knowledge that men watch porn, but for women this is kept on such a hush hush?

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