I am in love with a person who doesn’t value true love. He hurt my feelings a couple of days back by rejecting me and by saying harsh things. He said that he feels awkward working with me if I have such feelings for him. He’s my boss, he is the company’s Managing Director’s son, and is seven years younger. But I had sensed that he likes me too, even though I am plump and overweight. He keeps checking my updated WhatsApp status even now. And I can see that he has viewed it. Why does he do that? Does he also like me or is he curious about something, or is he playing mind games with me like a playboy? I am confused. He wants to keep things professional yet he views my status, my pics when he’s online. If he ever proposes to me in future, which I doubt he will, should I accept such a person?
Secondly ma’am, I would like to be a relationship expert and counsellor/coach in future, and would like to practice should I do some course? Please help me, Ma’am.
Related reading: Here’s how to deal with office romance
Snigdha Mishra says:
No one can answer the questions about what he wants and what’s going on [restrict] in his mind. How can I or anyone else tell you why he is doing what he is doing? If his behaviour irks you, then you can block him from all social media. In fact he has already told you that he wants to keep things professional between you, so what is the point of you dwelling on his behaviour? No good will come from that at all.
You need to learn to move on, however hurtful it may be for you, because you clearly do not have an option. Remember, it takes two to make a relationship and if either one isn’t interested, then there really can’t be a relationship at all.
Secondly, what is this talk about being plump and overweight? Aren’t fat people beautiful? Aren’t they supposed to be in love or be loved? You’re putting yourself down and body shaming your own self? You must learn to value yourself and love yourself for who you are before expecting anyone else to do so. There is no love without self-love.
I suggest you please seek professional help of a psychologist to help out of your issues. It will enable you to have a better self-image and develop skills to think things through more rationally.
To answer your second question:
In order to be a Counsellor you need to complete your bachelor’s and then masters in Psychology followed by specialised training in marriage and family therapy and or a PhD if you like.
To be a Coach you need to complete 2 or 3 levels from ICF in coaching while keeping your focus on relationships, etc.
Hope this helps,