Relationships 101

What should a man speak about on his first date?

Break the ice on a first date with these conversation tips.
man and woman on a first date

So, the cupid has finally struck you and voila, she has agreed to the ‘first date’. But is it a classic beginning to your love tale? Yes, if your ‘first date conversations’ hit the right spot, you can translate that palpable chemistry into a long-lasting relationship. Sounds so easy, but still, one of the greatest challenges many men like you face on a first date is having a good ‘conversation’. They fear rejection and find it difficult to ‘open up’ with the date and end-up clueless on ‘art of conversing on the first date’.

Tips on talking on the first date

Did you know? Saying the right lines at the right time can help you base your relationship on truth and honesty, and draw you both in sync with each other. What you say on the first date sets the tone for the rest of the relationship. It also determines how your date perceives you and shapes your first impression.

Conversations are so crucial; it makes many men wonder what does one talk about on a first date? Should you be serious or funny? Is it okay to crack jokes? Or should you aim to come across as a good listener? There is no constant for engaging conversations, but still, there are some basics, which if followed can turn first dates into many more potential dates and a successful relationship.

Approach it like a friend

All great relationships start with friendship, including ‘your potential date’. So, while you are feeling like a nervous-wreck from within, try to ease the situation and think like you are meeting a friend. This will ease you from within. Give her a great company; nurture her interest in you with interesting conversations. A tip: Don’t just throw a volley of questions to her. Be curious, and make it an enjoyable exchange of thoughts between you both.

Talk to her as a friend: Image source

Related reading: How to date a friend?

Don’t punctuate first few minutes with an awkward silence

Nervousness is natural, and your date too must be feeling the same. But, don’t let it ruin your first date. Instead, take the casual route and keep it ‘light’ for both of you. You can start simply by sharing your interests and then ask them to share something ‘unique’ about themselves. Try to engage her in a free-flowing exchange for a pleasant date evening ahead. A tip: Don’t ask private details like past relationship and keep the conversation free from any judgements.

Make eye contact while talking to her

Many men fail to create the desired eye contact while chatting with their date. Either they are nervous, or they don’t want to intimidate the date. But hey! Don’t be so conscious of it as men express their interest in their date through a quality eye contact. Look into her eyes as you talk. While doing so, shift your focus from eye to eye. This creates the desired sparkle and expresses your involvement and interest in the date.

lady seeing in man's eyes
look into her eyes: Image source

Listen to her with great interest

Believe it or not, women love men who are great listeners. Listening to her ideas actively will earn you brownie points by helping her stay ‘natural’ and ‘comfortable’ in your company. You may use this tip to express your genuine interests in her life and know her better. Acknowledge her words with ‘umms’, ‘yeah’, ‘is it?’ at appropriate moments and keep the conversation flow natural.
Don’t interrupt her in between! Instead, summarise what she said in one sentence, like “Relocating to a new city must be challenging” or “Your life at work sounds very interesting.” If you have your similar experiences, then you must wait for her to finish. Later, you may add up your version and give your conversation a healthy flow.

Ease her out with her ‘favourites’

‘Favourites’ is an engaging and a fun ice-breaker for a first-date. Everybody has their favourites and the topic can act as a saviour to make your first date engaging and happening. Share an interesting anecdote about your favourite food or hobby and then ask them their faves to keep the conversation light and fun. This would help you explore more about her personality. And who knows, if you both share your interests over food, then you may spend savouring a dessert or a delicacy together on the very first date.

Engage with their ‘travel’ favourites

Travel is on the wish list of every millennial. We all harbour our desires to visit one dream destination. You may ask your date about it and see how she gets into the groove of the conversation. With the twinkle in her eyes, she will be at her natural self while imagining herself there.

Also, almost everybody has had a memorable trip in their lives. Share an interesting or a goofy incident from your travels and share a great laugh. The idea is to get her talking and enjoy your company. Asking your date about her favourite trip may also be a great idea to start a conversation on your first date. Travel stories are fun to listen to and are often filled with interesting incidents.

Reciprocate her questions openly

The millennial folks encourage frank exchanges and if you are on a first date with a woman, this tip may come handy to you. Women these days are assertive and would like to know what’s going on in the mind of their date. So, if she asks you a question, be honest and confident in your answers. If she asks you about what you like about your dreams, then expressing your heart out will make her gain some interesting insights about you, which is great.

Engage her with sense of humour

If you have a good sense of humour, then don’t be afraid to show it. There is no better ice breaker than laughter. Moreover, everybody likes a person who has a good sense of humour. Tell her a funny story; discuss a funny incident at work or in your life or crack a joke or two. Laugh with her. Help her loosen up a little bit in your company. Chances are that if she enjoys her first date she would want a second. Just be careful not to go overboard with your jokes or to crack inappropriate ones!

man and woman laughing together
Make her laugh: Image source

Understand her ambitious side

A modern woman always appreciates a man who acknowledges her talents and ambitions. So, asking her about the dreams, ambitions and motivations is a great conversation starter on a first date. It opens up the chance for you to understand her and also talk about your own dreams and see how similar they are to each other.

Talk about her best friend/or mutual BFFs

Another great conversation starter for first dates is to ask her about her best friend. This one really works well because it’s not too invasive a topic. Neither is it too generic to be boring. Everybody has a best friend and they love to tell others how crazy he/she is! If you both have mutual friends, then this could be another reason to connect with each other on your first date. You can start with, “So how do you know him/her?” It helps you both connect over a common person, and bridge the gap with a safe topic. A tip: Keep it light-hearted and fun. But don’t let the mutual friend dominate your date.

Related reading: Why every girl needs a guy best friend

Don’t risk the date with cheesy pick-up lines

Pick-up lines can go wrong, even with the Casanovas. And if you are nervous on your first date, then avoid the prospect of using a pick-up line on your date. She may think you are over-optimistic during the date and may never turn back. This idea may also backfire if you are not comfortable and confident while using such unbearable chat-up lines. So, avoid it to be on the safer side.

Bond over bad date stories

Everybody has his/her share of bad date stories. And in the age of Tinder and dating apps, the horrendous dating encounters continue for both men and women. Turns out, if you have such funny, silly stories; you can share it with your date, and enjoy the light-hearted fun.

Related reading: How to date on Tinder?

Thank her for a memorable date evening

Either you enjoyed her company or not, graciously acknowledge the time spent together during the date. If you want to block the next date, you can lock the plan before bidding adieu.

man holding hands of a woman
Say her thank you: Image source

Conclusion
As per our Bonobology relationship experts, first date conversations can increase the curiosity in a couple and give her a feeler that you could be the ‘one’ potential life partner. So, utilise that power to your advantage and synchronise your life as a couple with your interesting first-date conversations.

“We’re in lust, not love,” she said

How will you know when you’ve found real love?

7 amazing first date ideas

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