Rejection – the very word is powerful enough to send shivers down anyone’s spine. But this is also something that happens to everyone, at one point in time or the other. There is nothing wrong with being turned down. Instead of sulking, “Why do I keep getting rejected by guys! Why does it happen to me every time?”, you should try to figure out what exactly went wrong.
Being rejected by every guy sure hurts. There are no words that can do justice to the feelings and the hurt. Instead of being bogged down by the pain of rejection, you need to pick up where you left off. Stop thinking “Why would a guy reject a pretty girl like me? He’s never gonna get a girl as beautiful as me!” and try to come to terms with the situation.
If you’ve been at the receiving end of this and find yourself trapped in the vicious cycle of rejection, then your relationship guru is here to guide you. Read through to find out the probable reasons you are being rejected and how you can overcome the grief to positively accept rejection from a guy.
7 Reasons You Keep Getting Rejected By Guys
You served your heart on a platter, presenting it to him with all the love but he chose to turn it down. You feel for the guy but your feelings do not find mutual reciprocation. And all that you are left with is to accept his choice with utmost dignity, find ways to deal with rejection, and try to learn from your mistakes. If you are scratching your head wondering, “Why do I keep getting rejected by guys?”, we’ve got you covered. We have a list of 7 common reasons that would explain why you are being rejected by every guy.
1. You are too dependent on him and don’t give him space
Men do not like women who are at the extreme poles. Being too dependent and clingy in a relationship is only going to turn him off. Women who are too needy are often seen as emotionally demanding. Come to think of it, why would any guy commit to a woman who he sees as hanging on to him? All we mean to say is that you rely on him a tad too much to the extent of overwhelming him with your responsibilities.
I am telling you this because I’ve seen my friend, Amanda, being rejected by every guy for this sole reason. Apparently, Amanda is always in a problem that can be fixed only by her boyfriend – this also reminds me of the song I am lost without you, You are my everything. This never went well with her exes as they felt stifled in the relationship. And before she could realize it, Amanda would end up crying herself hoarse every time, “Why do I keep getting rejected by guys!” So the bottom line is, no one likes to be swamped with added responsibilities and everyone likes their space, and this could be one of the reasons you are being rejected. Prioritize your friendships, family, and your relationship with yourself, don’t make the guy your everything.
2. You have low self-esteem
You could be self-sabotaging your relationship without even realizing it. Your low self-esteem is embroiled in an evil nexus with you getting rejected over and over again. As your confidence hits an all-time low, you begin to doubt yourself. The trajectory of your questions starts from “Am I good enough for him?” meeting with their end in “Why do I keep getting rejected by guys?”. Charting a course from self-doubt to self-sabotage becomes a norm.
When you are subconsciously struggling with low self-esteem, it is written in bold all over your personality. You could be drop-dead gorgeous, but your low self-esteem kills your killer looks. You might be wondering, “This guy, he persuaded me then rejected me? Why would anyone do that?” Well, chances are the guy was hitting it off with you until he sniffed out your self-deprecating tendencies. And, kaput goes your relationship! You know you have low self-esteem and low self-confidence when you are negative about yourself. Needless to say, this lethal combo in a personality has a threatening effect on relationships.
Related Reading: 9 Signs Of Low Self Esteem In A Relationship
3. You are hooking up with the wrong guys
“Why do I keep getting rejected by guys?” you ask yourself. Girl, the answer lies in the guys you are trying to hook up with. It is not always you who is wrong. Rather, it is the choices that you are making. You are falling for the wrong guys. They are not right for you or compatible with your needs, let alone being your soulmate. Some of them might be taken already, who knows? Or, they might not be ready to commit to a relationship yet. Also, asking out a guy who is already committed or who is not over his ex yet is only going to give you the pain of rejection.
What is that song that warns you against falling for him? Oh, you’ve got the wrong guy! There’s also a possibility that your man might not have the same feelings for you. That it’s a case of one-sided love. He might see you in the same light and hence is unable to reciprocate your feelings. You need to stop pursuing people who can’t fulfill your needs or are not interested in you.
4. You are a possessive girlfriend
This one is a no-brainer. Possessiveness in any form is bad for a relationship. Trust and faith are the pillars of every bond. The strong foundation of love depends on the strength of these cornerstones. Castles are not built-in air and nor is a relationship. It needs unfathomable confidence in your partner to establish itself. As a possessive girlfriend, you are constantly placing him in a stockade of suspicion. Not trusting your partner can trigger a fight or flight response in him.
My colleague Emma was seeing another colleague of ours, Ryan. She looked at every woman in the office as a potential threat to their blooming relationship. Water cooler chats were taken to mean flirting. Project meetings were called out for being dates. Not only did it raise questions about Ryan’s integrity but also interfered with his personal space. With thorns of jealousy and doubt cropping up, their love wilted before it could blossom. This leads us to answer the question – why would a guy reject a pretty girl? Because no guy will condescend to be controlled by a possessive girl, no matter how beautiful she is.
5. You are expecting too much
It is okay to expect things out of your relationship, but do not let that ‘something’ turn into ‘everything’. There needs to be a balance to manage your expectations in the relationship. “Why do I keep getting rejected by guys?” Probably because you are asking for too much from them. You might have a set of preconceived notions and expectations from that man of your dreams. As you try to make him fit into that mold, you forget that square pegs don’t fit into round holes. Stripping your man of his individual identity to match up to your expectations is a strict no-no.
This one comes from my personal experience. In the hindsight, it seems funny to think of how I roamed around with a checklist of sorts, ticking off boxes to find that perfect soulmate with a deep soul connection. Little did I realize that partners are not play doughs to be shaped into clay figurines. I had a hard time accepting rejection from a guy I tried to sculpt as per my whims, only to gradually succumb to romantic rejection depression.
6. You are an independent, powerful woman
Guys are often intimidated by strong and independent women. Some men find dating an independent woman a tedious and challenging task. They want their ego to be taken care of. They want to feel ‘needed’ in the relationship. So if you have your eyes on a man whose ultimate fantasy is to be a knight in shining armor for a damsel in distress, then chances are that he might turn you down. Your self-complacency unnerves him. He can’t stand the fact that you are an independent and powerful woman, capable of taking care of yourself.
“Why would a guy reject a pretty girl?” you may ask. Because there is more to that pretty face than meets the eye. That pretty girl is self-reliant and doesn’t give a damn about others’ opinions. We know how ugly this truth is, but you are too independent and self-sufficient to feed a male ego. And this is precisely the answer to your perpetual question – Why do I keep getting rejected by guys? What you need is a strong, secure man who loves the fact that you are your own person.
7. You two are incompatible
Compatibility in relationships is of utmost importance. Two people with different tastes, personalities, and dispositions are not likely to hit it off. You need to be compatible with each other for the relationship to flourish. We’ve all heard the adage – opposites attract. But, how true does it stand for you two? Is he appreciative of the fact that you both are poles apart in your interests? Do you have common things to bond over? How compatible are you with each other? Once you figure this out, you are sure to get an answer to your question – Why do I keep getting rejected by guys?
You might complain, “He pursued me then rejected me. Why would a guy reject a pretty girl like me?” One of the possible reasons is he might have been chasing you, besotted by your beauty. But, compatibility issues begin to surface only when you spend time together. And once he discerns those issues, there is nothing but the pain of rejection gaping wide at you.
Related Reading: The Best Way To Get Over Rejection Is To Face It
Instead of getting caught in the web of romantic rejection depression, take rejection in your stride. Pin down the fault in your approach or your choices, and learn from your mistakes. If you are finding it difficult to accept rejection from a guy, you can start from here. We have a couple of tips up our sleeves that you can follow to stop getting rejected again.
3 Things To Do To Stop Getting Rejected Again
Whatever be the reason for the rejection, you need to move on in life. So the next time cupid decides to strike you, make sure that you steer clear of your past mistakes, because, hey, we aren’t walking down the aisle of rejection all over again!
1. Know them better
It is always a good idea to do your homework before taking the plunge. Try to know your partner better. Is your crush open to a new relationship? What are your common interests and tastes? Hang out together to understand each other better. Open up conversation channels. Once you understand it ‘is’ real love, you will be prepared to take a step ahead in the right way which won’t be turned down for sure.
2. Don’t let your insecurities get in between the two of you
Feeling insecure about yourself can actually lead you to be rejected. Insecurities like low self-confidence and past rejections might creep in, pulling you down as you try to find love. Work on your self-esteem, know your own worth, and muster all your courage before you pop the question. If possible, try to resolve your insecurities before you get back to the love games.
Related Reading: Relationship Insecurity – Meaning, Signs And Effects
3. Get the timing right
You have found the right person, the perfect partner. But you might be stuck in the ‘right person, wrong timing’ situation. When you feel confident about your impression of your crush and you know both of you want it to happen, just go for it! Allow some time for the relationship to build up and ask your guy out with full confidence.
We hope the above tips will help you find the right partner at the right time. You sure are going to be blessed with love. Just be steadfast in your belief that there ‘is’ love out there. Take note of our suggestions and happiness will meet you right around the corner.
Constant rejection can lead you to look at yourself in a condescending manner. You might begin to doubt yourself thinking, “Why do I keep getting rejected by guys? Is there anything wrong with me?” It can do more harm to you than you realize. Repeated rejection can make you fall prey to romantic rejection depression. It is important for you to keep the nagging thoughts aside and accept rejection from a guy with dignity.
Getting over rejection in a healthy way is imperative for your mental well-being. Don’t be harsh on yourself. Instead, devote some time to yourself, voice your feelings and emotions, and talk it out with your friends and family. Practice self-care. You need to love yourself before you proceed to love anyone else.