Everything is smooth when you know what a guy wants. He either likes you or he doesn’t. The road after can be easily traveled. However, when a man is sketchy about his feelings toward you, it can make you feel anxious especially when you have fallen for him. Now, how to make a confused man want you? We’ve got some tricks up our sleeves that we’ll share with you in this article.
Not to pass a biased statement here, but men can be really confusing sometimes. They will act all lovey-dovey one day but the next day they are acting aloof and pretending as if they didn’t spend the entire day thinking about you. They will text you a lot when you’re not around but when you meet them, they’ll act like they are in a meeting. If you’re in a similar situation, we’re here to let you know how you can make a guy go crazy thinking about you and make him fall for you.
How Do You Tell If A Man Is Confused About You?
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Before we dive into how to make a confused man want you, let’s find out some of the important signs he is confused so you don’t mistake his confusion for being ignorant or indifferent toward your feelings.
- He avoids talking about the future with you but says he loves to spend quality time with you
- He is always there to support you but doesn’t reveal his real feelings toward you
- He hasn’t opened up to you emotionally or he hasn’t tried being vulnerable with you
- He might like meeting your friends and family but doesn’t introduce you to his loved ones
- He is caring in person but doesn’t indulge in public displays of affection because he doesn’t want people to find out you’re a “thing”
- He hasn’t defined your relationship yet. Is it casual dating or has it transitioned to exclusive dating? Neither one of you knows
- He sounds extremely excited to meet you but when you meet, he might act distant the whole time
How To Make A Confused Man Want You — 15 Tips
Not knowing what he wants can be really frustrating. But it’s more painful to experience hot-and-cold behavior from a man you really like. He isn’t communicating his feelings and he isn’t letting you go either. If you are dead set that this is the guy you want to be in a relationship with, then here are some tips on how to make a confused man want you:
1. Don’t chase him
Listen up! The more you chase him, the more he will run away from you. You chasing him will boost his ego and he will start to think that he deserves someone better than you. If he stood you up but called you to apologize, then act all nonchalant and pretend as if it didn’t bother you. Get him to chase you instead of you chasing him for attention and love.
Say things like, “Oh, that’s not a problem. I had to meet my friends right after that anyway.” It’s crucial to not chase him, so give him space. This will make him miss you a little. When he realizes your importance, he will be the one reaching out to you, and then you will be the one in control.
2. Make him smile
This is one of the things you can do when a guy is uncertain about you. If he is far away from you, then send him relatable memes to make him laugh. Tell him this meme reminded you of him. It will accomplish the following: a) He’ll know you’re thinking about him, b) It does the job of putting a smile on his face, c) He’ll see that you’re aware of what he likes or what he finds funny.
Here are some other things you can do to make him smile:
- Compliment him in wonderful ways
- Send him random messages in the middle of the day. You have to sound thoughtful. Say something like, “I just sat down to have my lunch. Have you eaten yet?”
- Get him flowers if you feel you’ve reached that stage in your dynamic. Believe me, even guys love to receive flowers
3. Be curious about him
It’s important to know that there’s a thin line between being curious and poking your nose in his business. Ask questions about his childhood, his friends, and his work life. Don’t pry into his past relationships. Be more curious to get to know him as a person.
Ask about his likes and dislikes, his ambitions in life, and the things he is looking for in a partner. By asking questions and involving him in a meaningful conversation, you will be able to develop a deep connection with him. This is one of the ways to make a man think about you day and night.
4. Portray yourself as a positive person
Happiness isn’t just beautiful, it’s also attractive and sexy. Even research suggests positive people are attractive and that people are more likely to respond to, feel connected to, and remember the person who is pleasant and happy. Show this natural state of mind whenever he is around. You will come across as a happy-go-lucky person that he would want to have in his life. He will go back home and he will think about your laughter. He would want that joy in his life as well.
5. Give him the right amount of attention
Attention is key here — no less, no more than what’s required. Focus on him a little but not too much. When you make him the center of your attention, he will probably think you have nothing else to do. Don’t become a clingy girlfriend and come off as desperate.
Listen to everything he says and take it all in. Ask questions here and there but also check your phone once in a while during conversations. Take a sip of that drink and smile at other people around you when you are in a group setting. Don’t make the entire evening about him.
6. How to make a confused man want you? Be there for him
One of the ways to make a guy go crazy thinking about you is by being there for him when he wants someone to depend on. If he lost a loved one, then attend the funeral with him. If he is feeling low, let him know that he can cry it out with you. If he is stuck in a work crisis, help him out. Make him feel special by being there for him. He should know that he has a shoulder to lean on when he is down.
Related Reading: 5 Reasons Why Space In A Relationship Is Not An Ominous Sign
7. Earn his trust
Relationships end, so that new ones can begin. If he had a traumatic past and is finding it difficult to trust people, make it known that you will never break his trust. He might be emotionally guarded and you have to be patient with him. If he shares his vulnerabilities with you, keep them safe.
It is quite difficult to win a guy who has trust issues. That’s why it’s crucial to give him some time. Once he warms up to you and opens up a little, he will go crazy about you and will want you in his life forever.
8. Touch him often
Not inappropriately or in a sexual way though! Physical touch is one of the types of love languages. Whenever the two of you are together, graze his arm slightly, or touch his back and face. You can also try to hold his hand. His confusion will be gone when he realizes how much he loves to be gently touched by you.
Studies have shown that non-sexual intimacy like holding hands, hugging, and touching releases oxytocin. Oxytocin is the same chemical that is released during an orgasm. Furthermore, physical affection also reduces stress by lowering our cortisol levels, which is the stress hormone.
9. Make him feel desired by complimenting him
Compliment what you find admirable about him. Don’t lie and make things up just to flatter him. Don’t overdo it and shower him with praises. Here are some general compliments you can give your guy to make him subconsciously want you:
- You have such pretty eyes
- I like the way you do your hair
- You smell really good
- You are very smart. I really like the way you think
- You are a great listener
- I feel lucky to have you in my life
- You are so thoughtful and it shows that you have a good heart
10. Make him the hero of your life
When you are stuck in a difficult situation, make him your knight in the shining armor. This will trigger his hero instinct and he will get to know how important he is to you. All you have to do is make him the hero of your story. If you are in distress, call him and ask him for solutions to get out of your current jam. Thank him for his help once you are out of that situation. This is one of the sincere yet clever ways to get him to think about you.
11. Get to know the people who are special to him
Friends, family, and even his grandparents. Start by talking about them to him. Then ask him if he’s willing to introduce you to them. If he says yes, then his confusions are slowly melting away. He is becoming more sure about you. When you meet his closed ones, impress them and don’t forget to get some insights about him. They may even go and say good things about you to him.
Related Reading: Expert-Backed Signs Of Male Body Language Attraction
12. Be aware of your body language
If you want to make a man think about you day and night, then pay more attention to his and your body language. Don’t be closed off and make him think that you are not approachable. Show affection by hugging him whenever you meet him. Here are some other things to remember:
- Laugh at his jokes and make eye contact with him often
- If he is trying to hold your hand or your waist, don’t pull away (unless you’re uncomfortable, of course)
- Mirror his actions. Research has found that we mirror the person we’re interested in. We copy their body language, speech, facial expressions, and more. So, if he is smiling, smile back. If he is laughing at something and you find it funny, you laugh as well
- Be confident about how you look, speak, and behave in front of him
13. Surprise him once in a while
Surprises don’t have to be grand and extravagant. A surprise is executed to convey a simple message to the person you love: “You are precious.” Surprise him once in a while by cooking for him or buying him a little present. This is one of the ways to get him to think about you. Plan a picnic with him, or watch his favorite movie together. Find out what he loves and use it to your advantage. Does he love the beach? Take him to the beach. You can go to an aquarium if he loves the sea. Does he love Van Gogh? Take him to a museum.
14. Keep flirting with him
A new study has found that the reason many people are single is because they don’t know how to flirt or how to flirt back. If you really want to know how to make a confused man want you, then flirt with him. Flirting radiates positivity and it will allow him to know that you like him. If he flirts back, then you will know that his confusion is clearing away. You can also get a little flirty over text messages if you are down for it.
Remember this, though. His boundaries are important as well, so you need to be consensual and appropriate when you flirt with him. Listed below are some of the ways to flirt in order to make a guy go crazy thinking about you:
- Talk about sex and relationships if he’s comfortable with that
- Send him kiss and heart emojis
- Disagree but maintain a happy vibe nonetheless – he would love your strong mind
- Ask what he is doing later, you can be a little suggestive
- If the conversation dies, try to rekindle it by sending your photo. No, not a nude
15. Tell him about your feelings
Once you’ve gone through the above steps, you’ve made him realize how important you are to him. It’s time to let him know your real feelings. If you’re a woman, don’t be under the notion that men always have to make the first move. In fact, men find it irresistible when the roles are reversed.
When asked on Reddit how men feel about women making the first move and confessing their feelings, a user shared, “Even if I wasn’t initially attracted to her, I’d probably become way more interested if she came up to me and made the first move. So ladies, shoot your shot. If nothing else, you get the satisfaction of knowing you made some guy’s day, even if a date or relationship didn’t come from it.”
When To Walk Away From A Confused Man
You tried your shot. You did everything you can to make him feel special, loved, and desired. When a guy is uncertain about you, it can take a little bit of time for him to acknowledge his feelings for you. However, if you have put your life on hold for him, it’s one of the signs you need to walk away from him. Listed below are three other important signs you have to move on:
Related Reading: 15 Signs He Finds You Irresistible
1. When he only meets you to have sex
Sex is one of the ways to build a strong relationship for many people, but it’s not the ONLY way to sustain a relationship. If this guy just wants sex from you, then you need to reevaluate your decision of chasing him. It’s one of the obvious signs he is using you for sex and has no intention of committing to you.
2. You aren’t the only person he is seeing
Run away from him if he is a serial dater or if he has someone else in his life and is keeping you as a backup option. He needs to choose you because he likes you and enjoys spending time with you, not because he is bored and wants to while away his time.
3. Walk away when he clearly says he isn’t interested
When a guy is uncertain about you initially but finally expresses that he doesn’t want to commit to you, it’s the clearest sign you need to walk away from him. He has no feelings for you and you can’t really force someone to like/love you, right? He has a right to say no, so accept that and move on.
- Make a guy go crazy about you by flirting with him and touching him in non-sexual ways
- Make eye contact with him and be curious about getting to know him. Ask some deep relationship questions to find out what his views are on communication, empathy, and love languages
- Walk away from a man who uses you for sex and keeps you as a second choice
If you genuinely love this guy, then you can try everything you can to make him love you back. However, if it’s draining you mentally and you can’t seem to focus on your work and mental health, then it’s time to let him go. Nothing is more important than your peace of mind. There are plenty of fish in the sea who will love you with everything they have.