Sending The First Message On A Dating App – 23 Texts For That Perfect Start

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Most people get cold feet at the thought of sending the first message on a dating app. No doubt, making the first move is scary, whether it is in person or online. But it is essential to take your connection further by initiating a conversation, or what’s the point of matching with someone? The question is, how can you express interest without coming across as odd?

I have been in your situation before, which is why I know how important this is to you. Especially with all the pressure to make a good first impression, and the only one you can make while dating online. All this put together can make sending the first message on a dating app harder than it should be. A lot of things have to go right while you are shooting your shot over a text.

If you’re new to the online dating space, I am certain you must have realized by now that it takes a bit of trial and error initially before you can get it right. Lucky for you, I have put myself out there enough times, and in the process, acquired the skill of sending the right first message for that perfect start. Now that you are here, there is nothing for you to worry about because I will help you send that perfect message to that cutie who’s caught your attention.

23 Text Examples For First Message On Dating Apps

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Once you have matched with someone you’re really into, I know how eager you can feel to contact them and start chatting. To be honest, the first message on dating app is probably the hardest. What are you even supposed to write? It can be difficult to know what to say on dating apps to an unknown person. Even though online dating has a lot of good aspects to it, one clear limitation is that it doesn’t give us much time to make a good first impression.

You get one text, at best, to send to the person you’re into and that text will determine whether they’d be interested in talking to you or not. You only get one chance to create a first impression, as the adage goes. Before I proceed to help you with the right messages, I believe that it is equally important for you to not send the wrong ones.

A quick brief on what you should NOT send as a first message: “Hey” (people, you have got to stop with these); something that is potentially heavy or deep – this person knows nothing about you so this information for them is irrelevant; anything that is sexually explicit is a big NO; and lastly, don’t be nervous (it always reflects in your messages).

When you’re thinking about what to message first on a dating app, try to make sure it’s something that your match can reply to. If you send across a “Hey!” and they reply back with a “Hey”, it’s not really the most interesting starter to a conversation, is it? Instead, try to send across a funny first message on dating apps, since those usually tend to do better.

However, if you’re struggling with coming up with any flirty first messages on Tinder, let alone funny ones, we’ve got your back.
Let’s look at 23 text examples with which you can nail your first message on dating apps every single time:

Related Reading: 37 Funny Tinder Questions Your Matches Will Love

1. I think we’ve got a lot of pet-tential here, are you feline it too?

If you see a cat’s picture in their profile or even a mention of a cat, then this has to be your first message on a dating app of your choice. If you have a cat, this makes this all the more relatable for the person behind the other screen.

If you are into the furry, little cuddly creatures too, this text is a no-brainer and will ensure you have the purr-fect start with your match. You’re not a creep in their DMs trying to get into their pants with this message. You’re the type they’d like to learn more about, and if all goes well (which I hope it does), you might even get a first date.

Of course, when you start a conversation on an online dating app, keep in mind that what you’re looking for is a ‘conversation’ and not just a few messages. So, once you do send across this message, make sure you ask about what their first pet was, what their favorite memory is with their pet, and then take the conversation forward to different interests.

2. Ah, you’re into books too? There’s nothing more wonderful than the smell of a new book 🙂

There’s nothing more wonderful than the smell of a new book

Given that you are here looking at an article on the perfect start with your match, it’s safe to assume you are looking to build a connection with a person who has similar interests as you. Once you find a common interest, making the perfect start with your text messages is a cakewalk. Adding a personal touch is important, it’s a conversation starter that works like a charm.

For example, if you’re a book nerd and the person you’re swooning over has indicated a love for reading in their books, lead with this text message. Clever first messages? Let’s just tick that one off right now.

3. It’s impossible to look any cuter than that. You have such pretty hair

All right, I get it. This person you want to text is cute, like REALLY cute, and complimenting them for their looks seems like the only sensible way to start a conversation with them. What can we say, when you come across someone who is unbelievably cute, you just feel like shooting your shot.

You can also use this text when you can’t seem to find a lot of common interests, but your gut tells you that there is potential here. This is a good workaround for those wondering, “What to say in the first message on a dating app when their profile is too simple?”

4. I was hoping we’d match. If you prefer receiving a message that leads to a perfect start, here it is

Confidence is key when talking to your crush online. It’s really attractive for the person on the other side of the screen when they get a sense that the person they are talking to is comfortable being who they are.

You are going to have to project confidence when you message someone first on a dating app. This is a very simple but potent first message you can send because there is no scope for any awkwardness and it does not come off as random. If you’re feeling up to it, you can always use flirty conversation starters to break the ice. No longer do you have to ponder over “What should I send as a first text?”

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5. Hi! So, I’m going to go and buy a cute blanket for your cat/dog while you’re replying to this text

I love animals, and I have matched with people who love animals. My dating site of choice is Tinder and the algorithm is well in sync with my interests. My regards to big data *clears throat*. So in my personal experience, using any cute pets I see in their profile as my online dating icebreaker messages fetches a lot of responses. 

In DMs filled with the worst pickup lines ever used, being relatable hands you an edge because it shows you’re making an effort to notice the finer details about your online crush. When everyone is trying to send everyone the perfect first message on a dating app, you will need to personalize your messages to stand out from the crowd.

Related Reading: 13 Tips To Date Online Successfully And Find Your Ideal Partner

6. Hello! *pretends to be a waiter* Here is your ‘cutest first message ever’ garnished with awkwardness

I want to address the elephant in the room, so should a girl message first on a dating app? Yes, absolutely! Even though we are progressing better than any other previous generation on the planet in breaking gender stereotypes, women are socially taught to hold a passive stance when dating. Unfortunately, many women still feel that they need to be “chosen”.

This is the farthest thing from the truth. So, be confident and take the initiative. You got this! For all the girls who want something subtle and not too flirty because they are tired of attracting ‘fuccbois’, this cute first message on a dating app can be the perfect start and help you take charge.

7. Wow, I see that you are into (interest/hobby). What’s your favorite thing about it?

Here is the ideal ‘first message to a girl’ example, especially for those who are tired of their advances not being reciprocated. Given the way the dating culture has been set, girls get a lot more attention even in an online space. Remember what I said about triple-digit unread texts in her DMs? Yes. Hence, to start a conversation on an online dating app, you need to be creative.

You’re going to have to make an effort to understand what she is into. I must tell you that if you use generic openers, you’ll notice that your dating game is flatlining because of bad pickup lines. Spending time to recognize what she is into is the key to crafting your perfect first message on a dating app.

8. Hello, fellow bookworm! I’m reading a book about anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down

That awesome moment when you are on Google looking for funny first message online dating examples and you get a punny one. If they are a texting nerd, there is a good chance that they are going to appreciate some puns.

I know for a fact that nerds find online dating very lackluster because they can rarely find people with similar interests on the usual dating sites. If you’re nerdy and are having a difficult time matching with people of your interests, there are dating sites for nerds, geeks, and sci-fi lovers too. You’re welcome.

Before you go running off to explore these new dating avenues, take your chances and shoot this punny text to that cute girl or handsome hunk who’s making your heart race. Who knows you might get along like a house on fire, and save yourself another dating app subscription. Who knew clever first messages can save you some moolah as well?

9. I couldn’t get us the reservations at the library for our first date, it was completely booked

Another pun? Yes. You see, my best friend is a nerd. I’ve managed to get her on board with online dating. It took her a while but she made her peace with a few major disadvantages of online dating that worried her. And has since been killing it with such pun-induced conversation starters.

So, I took a leaf out of her playbook to bring you this funny first message on a dating app. You can use it even if you’re not a nerd per se. Because it’s a pun, it will get your match to reply to you, and then it’s up to the two of you to decide how to set the tone thereon. If you’re lucky, you might even score a date right away. Don’t worry though, there are many ways to score a date on dating apps like Tinder, Hinge, and Bumble.

10. The food in that restaurant looks delicious, are we going there on our potential first date?

The key to online dating icebreaker messages is to be clear about what you seek from this conversation. At the start of the piece, I made it clear that sending sexually explicit messages is a big no. Most people on these dating sites are there to date, not hook up. You want to stay away from these types of men on Tinder, by the way.

All the people looking for the ‘first message to a girl’ examples, try to be transparent with the girl you’re talking to. If you wish to only hook up that’s okay, but say so in a respectable manner and if they’re not interested, leave it at that. With that said, the first messages on dating apps should be aimed at giving room for a potential follow-up that makes things interesting.

first message to a girl example
Mention a first date and show your match you are serious

11. Be honest, what made you swipe right on my profile? It’s important because I’ll have to take it off now that we’ve matched

In this list of messages to help you figure out what to say in the first message on a dating app, you will notice that flattery is a recurrent theme. That’s because everyone likes to be flattered. I don’t want you to go with the “You’re cute” cliché. Other than that, there are Tinder etiquettes one must follow as well.

When you send this as the first message on a dating app, your online match will immediately get a sense that you are the kind who likes to commit. As a bonus, it will give you an idea of what’s working in your favor on your dating profile and what isn’t. In this day and age, it’s so important to know how to make an effective dating profile.

12. You are so pretty, I was starting to wonder if you don’t exist

When sending the first message to an unknown girl, you want to flatter her and compliment her but not creepily or casually. When you are texting a girl on any dating site, you can safely assume that she already has 100+ texts unopened. Now you are trying to stand out among all the people (mostly guys) who are already using cringey pick-up lines.

Having an element of subtlety in your compliment is something women appreciate. They might not even agree with what you’re saying but they’ll always be appreciative of a compliment. If you’re still wondering “What should I send as a first text?”, just make sure to keep it subtle, engaging, and lighthearted.

13. I don’t give out compliments right away, but I must say that you have excellent taste in dates

Embrace yourself for a snarky response if you are going to send this as the first message to an unknown girl. How do I know this? Because I have been sassed when I’ve used this with my beloved.

We’ve been together for two years now, so I know what I am talking about. All of these funny first message online dating examples are tried and tested. But remember that a killer first message on a dating app alone is not enough to carry you through. It’s up to you to sustain a good conversation after you get a response, so be creative with it.

14. *Pulls out a wand from my cloak* Accio response! 

You can never go wrong with a Harry Potter first message on a dating app. Just like you can never go wrong with Harry Potter gifts. All you adults who have grown up reading this amazing collection by Rowling, bring that wizardry fun into your online dating space.

This is my favorite among the funny first message online dating examples, and with good reason. The tone of the conversation is set by the response you get. You can be the most interesting person possible but it takes two to tango. Don’t entertain dry responses no matter how attracted you are to someone because things will eventually fizzle out.

Related Reading: Online Dating Profile Examples To Attract Men

15. Your outfits are straight up fire, you make a great fashion student. I will have to pick my first date outfit meticulously

Outward appearance is important to people to varying degrees, but let’s be honest here, who doesn’t like aesthetics and a good sense of fashion? For all the people who drool over ‘eye candy’ on Tinder or Bumble, and are always on the lookout for the first message to a girl, here’s a non-creepy way to compliment her.

I wish this wasn’t something I had to point out but “Fine booty” is not how you compliment a girl’s physical appearance. Don’t contribute to the plague of creepy texts on Tinder. If things were the other way around, it would make you uncomfortable, wouldn’t it? Also, if someone is not a fashion student, you can follow up with a compliment that you’d make a great one if you were.

16. You have been to *insert name of place*! How was your visit? Something we have in common already.

The internet is full of stories about how people match on a dating site, find out that they are both into traveling, and that’s that. So for all the backpack adventurers who want to embark on new adventures with their partners, this message will surely lead to a perfect start. There are many ways to find love while traveling for those of you who travel for a living. I cannot think of a better way for you to open a conversation with a fellow wanderer. Put this flirty first message on Tinder at the top of your strategy for texting new matches.

More on dating apps

17. NO WAY! We’ve been to the same university and never met? Hiii!

Even though I have not experienced this during online dating, my friends have. And I have been told it is a lot of fun to meet new people online and discover there’s a shared history there. Just the ‘what are the odds’ factor will be enough to carry you through the initial awkwardness, not to mention, you’ll have lots to talk about.

Also, if you still go to the same university, then you can no longer just put on that overused sweatshirt and walk into the campus. The person you’re into is on the same campus and the chances of running into them are really high. If I were you, I would already be looking for valuable tips for a first date after meeting online.

18. Were Ross and Rachel really on a break according to you?

Have you run out of online dating icebreaker messages? You didn’t really find anything relatable because of their basic Tinder profile. By this point, your mind just starts to wonder what to say on dating apps to the kind of people who don’t put any effort into making their profile.

You could send them tips on writing a dating profile…I’m kidding, of course. You can’t do that. What you can do is use the most well-known sitcom show and ask for their opinion on a controversial thing that happened in it. When all the other tactics and strategies don’t seem viable, a safe way of playing the game is by talking about something extremely popular.

19. I was just telling my friend about how I don’t need Tinder anymore once it works out between us 😉

Once you’ve matched with someone you’re really into, this is the next logical step, isn’t it? Please use this as a first message on a dating app only if you are sure about this person. The one who’s going to be reading this would respond to you under the impression that you’re looking to build a meaningful connection.

First messages on dating apps like Tinder, Bumble, and Hinge need to be just the right amount of funny and interesting to warrant a reply. Rest assured, with this message, you’ll be checking all those boxes.

20. On a scale of 09, how likely is it that we’ll go on a first date?

Here is the ultimate one from this list of funny first message online dating examples. Those who find it difficult to ask someone out in an online setting can make this their go-to first message on a dating app. With this, you are asking them out subtly, in a way that doesn’t feel too soon or desperate.

Use this as an opener or a follow-up conversation starter. The best thing about this message is that it can be used in a variety of situations. Personalize and improvise. While you’re at it, start thinking about your first date outfit.

21. Hi! Seeing that we’re both vegans, if we fight, is it still considered beef?

I’ve been lucky enough to match with a few vegans, and they’re the most amazing and kind people. I’m friends with one of them now, and thanks to her influence, I am actually transitioning into becoming a full-time vegan.

Related Reading: The Ultimate Funny Online Dating Questions

If you’re a vegan, then congratulations, you’ve scored yourself a punny first message. ANYTHING that gets you an edge over the others in your crush’s DMs has to be used to skew things in your favor. Having an eco-friendly lifestyle can spice up your dating life if you know how to use it to your advantage.

22. Do you think people should come with warning labels?

The question describes its intention in complete transparency. I want you to know what you’re getting into and this will make your match introspect a bit. Because you’re making the effort to message someone first on a dating app, you now get to set the tone for the first conversation.

They might even tell you stories about how they wish “some people” (probably their ex) came with a warning label. It’s essential to get to know the person and their tendencies during online dating, and maybe an appropriate amount of past as well.

23. There is something wrong with my phone, it doesn’t have your number in it

Casual flirting is always a good idea when you are dating online. If your match has spent a significant amount of time on Tinder already, they’re bound to be bored. So slide in their DMs with confidence and feel free to follow up with cute questions to ask your crush while texting.

funny first message online dating examples
Funny first message on dating apps can help you get started off on the right foot

6 Secret Tips To Send the Perfect First Message On Dating Apps

Now that you know what your first message on a dating app like Tinder, Bumble, and Hinge can be, it’s time to take a look at some secret tips to make sure that no matter what message you go with, you increase your chances of hitting it off with your match. After all, you don’t want your funny first message on a dating app to come across as creepy, right?

Related Reading: 11 Things To Know When Dating A Nerd

1. Make sure your message leaves room for a response

When we talk about what to message first on a dating app, know that regardless of what option you go with, you’ve got to make sure the other person has something to respond to. That’s exactly why a simple (and boring) “Hey!” doesn’t work anymore.

2. Read their profile well, finding something to comment on is key

This is perhaps the best strategy to texting someone you don’t know. Based on their profile, try to see the interests and hobbies they’ve listed out, and comment on one that you think they like to talk about the most (or the one that other people must not have commented on). However, if you’ve matched with the kind of person who didn’t put much thought into their dating app profile, try out point 18 in this article.

3. Don’t be vague

When we talk about tips to text someone on a dating app like Bumble, Hinge, or Tinder, make sure you don’t make your message too vague. Are you complimenting them? Do so confidently. Do you want to say you’re interested in a first date with them? Be flirty or funny with it, but make sure the message is put across.

4. Do NOT be overly sexual

We’re sorry to be repeating the same thing in our tips for forming your first message on a dating app, but this one is just that important. “Hey sexy, mi casa or su casa?” or “Damn, you’re hot. Netflix and chill?” is only going to get you blocked super quick.

5. Stay away from negging

You want to be sweet, funny, flirty, and subtle. Not mean and disrespectful. A backhanded compliment, a comment that’s designed to insult the person you’re texting, or something that saps away at their self-confidence are things you need to stay miles away from. If you partake in negging while dating, rest assured, things won’t go too well.

6. Keep it simple

Don’t talk about heavy subjects like politics, don’t be overly enthusiastic, don’t write a novel, don’t start listing out everything you ‘think’ you like about them, just try to keep it casual and a bit inviting. Before you send across “I think you are the most amazing person in the world!!” try to think about how that would fly if you were face to face with this person. Weird, right? Keep it simple.

Key Pointers

  • Make sure your opening text is sweet and inviting, not overly sexual or insulting 
  • No matter what first messages on dating apps you use, try to keep it simple and maneuver it into a conversation 
  • Find common interests, suggest a date, compliment their appearance (subtly), and be yourself. Try not to overthink it!

And that’s a wrap on our tips on how to start chatting with your online match. Whenever you are using these, make sure it is relatable for them. You can’t be random. Always try to add a personal touch to a message you send.

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